Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I’m sure most people in india think this🤦🏻‍♀️

💯💯yayy! That’s what these people need to understand

i know, there are people who think if a girl is drinking she will be okay for other things too,
if a girl is wearing shorts, or roaming around without bra or just wear anything deep neck she is willing to do whatever you want to, to all that i say HELL NO!

If a girl talks openly about sex then for some reason people think she will be ready to have sex with them right then and there,
let alone if she touches herself or has an active sex life.

there are a lot of stuff wrong with people’s mindset but slowly and quickly, people like you will make them understand that IT IS NO BIG DEAL
SHE CAN EXPRESS HERSELF WITHOUT YOUR VALIDATION and CHEAP AND PATHETIC GAZE.

Even if they don’t understand, who the hell will make us stop anyway. So I don’t even care if the understand this or no. Why should we think about them when we have our own life separate from them.

That’s the way towards life. That’s the only approach that matters.

Damn, you all are good and interesting people

Ikrr, this platform gives a whole different vibe :)

That’s so good to hear,
you really have good energy !!

It feels good to see that you are not let anything pull you down

Lol such things will never pull me down no matter what.

THAT’S SO AMAZING TO HEAR

it feels so good to hear, specially when men have made it so uncomfortable
I apologize on behalf of all men who have made you and any women uncomfortable
i hope you have a care free life and you don’t hold yourself back
NO MATTER WHAT, BE YOU!

Why am I not receiving notifications?🤦🏻‍♀️

Thankyou so much for those inspiring words. And yeah I’ll never let any such thing hold me back💪

The website has some issues sometimes,
Do you wanna switch to some other site ?
It was good talking to you

Yeah sure, share your Id I’ll ping you

Yes exactly

Exactly, people need to change their mentality

How how is it even gonna tempt the weak?

I don’t think this is about whether drinking is bad or not because it’s not really good for anyone irrespective of their gender. It’s about how society categorizes women as characterless for drinking alcohol or making the decisions which crosses the line of societal standards. I mean it’s her decision to make which does not make her characterless
I hope you get the difference

No worries.I guess it’s the environment or the situations in which they grew up. They were conditioned to think like this but I don’t think they will change this whole belief that’s in their mind since maybe their childhood. Some will change some will not. The least we can do is stand with what is right, educate people about it and not be this kind of person in future.

Thanks for that, it made me smile :)
I do agree with you that the hate towards them won’t get anyone anywhere. We know this conditions that don’t match logic have been passed down since generations. Even our parents’ mindset conflicts ours which is hard if not impossible to change. All we can do is try to explain our point of view and in return understand theirs. But this blatant accusation or judgement tears one’s self-esteem down which is not good at all. The environment is changing tho. people are changing, taking stands and not in a hateful way. This is a tangled mess I guess.
Your thought made me think deeper. Thank you!

Yes, this is a case of a generational curse that doesn’t follow logic.
I agree that criticism that isn’t constructive does lower one’s perceived self-esteem. It’s best to avoid non-integrous people in such matters. But when that is not possible, an alternative attitude of love towards others makes a difference.

See, we talked about how hate begets hate. The inverse is also true: love promotes love. So hate isn’t conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by love. When we are on the defense of accusations, we are vulnerable to energy depletion brought on by the perpetrator’s anger towards us. Being on the defense also means we are resisting them, which is a form of covert anger.
If we want to affect others, then we have to love them during such conversations.
Having a clear sense of ourselves, who we are, and of what basic principles we stand for makes us bulletproof against aggressions.

It all comes down to being aware and educating oneself. Life should not be taken as a place for gain, but as an opportunity for learning. If we add it up with compassion for the unfortunates who aren’t able to love yet, it gets easier to live. For example, You wouldn’t mind your puppy’s shenanigans, because you love it and you are learning more about its behaviors. 😁

I went back and thought about what I said about empathy. There was something that bothered me. My empathy for how women would feel under their circumstances was a bit cognitive and not experiential. So I watched a few videos about social experiments of women facing harassment on the streets. There was also a video about a man dressed as a woman and facing the same. That incident scared the men, and he experientially understood how vulnerable it is for women right now.

If things like these are brought to the attention of children from an early age, it will make a big difference. They’ll develop emotional empathy and not a cognitive one - based on logic.

Yes, the world is a tangled mess to the eye of the person who doesn’t get the whole context. The way to dissolve negativity is by recontextualizing it rather than by attacking it. From our conversations, I noticed that you have a good understanding of society. Thus, you recontextualized your narrative about it. Doing so, you have augmented it to a progressive and positive view.

It’s like a tangled necklace. If someone cares about it, they’ll find a way to untangle it by going through all the nooks and crannies. If someone hates it out of principle or aren’t bothered enough to fix it, they’ll ignore it and chuck it away.
Hope this adds some value to this conversation.

Thank you for your kind words :)

The thing you said about having sense of ourselves and knowing who we are while tackling this kind of situation hits hard.
If someone really knows their self worth, it won’t affect them as much. It’s true that while confronting those people what we can do is smile and with a calm mind explain them our pov but I highly doubt that it’d work. Nonetheless, it will be a good start.
I’m happy that you made time for understanding the things women go through. But the thing I’m scared of is how this mentality seeps into the male population around us. I know there are some who see women equally and respect their decisions but there are some who think otherwise (whether it be from their culture, family, friends). The environment in which we live is a mould for our mindset. every book, song, friend, school etc contributes to the way we think. The first step ( I think) would be scanning or observing the environment around us.
If you have a liberal mind, I suggest you try affect the people you surround with it.
Yesterday, my mom told me that there’s this girl who goes to terrace every night (in the dark) I and our bhaiya (our cook) told her that it’s okay, it’s her life and all that. We all know what she must be thinking and it is what she was conditioned with but then she nodded in agreement and that’s a progress. I’m really proud of our cook tho.
With this kind of instances I try to change my parent’s mindset. This is a slow process but will be helpful in the long run.
Thanks for taking your time, I really appreciate it!

If someone really knows their self worth, it won’t affect them as much.

You are bang on right about self-worth. Courageous people are radically honest about themselves. So they are unshaken by unsolicited criticism.

It’s true that while confronting those people what we can do is smile and with a calm mind explain them our pov but I highly doubt that it’d work.

Affecting people who are unaware and aren’t willing to understand can be a fruitless quest. I wasn’t clear enough about affecting part. What I wanted to express is that - people’s attacks on us don’t compromise us if we are compassionate and loving towards them during the exchange. Instead, they are affected by their own hate as we are non-reactionary. Sometimes they regret acting in a non-loving way and learn from their mistakes. Here, love acts as a wall against negativity.

I’m happy that you made time for understanding the things women go through.

Thanks, it was a great humbling learning process.

But the thing I’m scared of is how this mentality seeps into the male population around us.

They may feel insecure and try to assume power by bullying/harassing women. But behind the scenes - their parents bully and harass them at home from a young age. I suspect harassment is more about power than sexual deviancy. Though that can vary on a case-by-case basis.

The environment in which we live is a mould for our mindset. every book, song, friend, school etc contributes to the way we think.

I liked the imagery behind this about how the environment moulds our mindset and outlook. Good thing is that there is a chance to remould ourselves as we see fit by making the right choices.

Everything in this life works by osmosis and attraction. Living beings react positively to what is life-supporting and negatively to what is not. Humans lack the capacity to discern truth from false. So, we find it hard to choose positive from negative. That is our only weakness which leads to ignorance.

If you have a liberal mind, I suggest you try affect the people you surround with it.

I can sense why you talked about the liberal mind. If I may, I’ll reframe being liberal to being more responsible towards the world. To do it as a service if it is your calling. People with other skills are best left to do what they are good at. And to not seek to change the world with force. The world existed and will exist without us fine.
I don’t know how adopting an identity of being liberal will do so much in this case. Although it can a launchpad as it points us to a goal of common progress. The foundation has to be clear and universally solid. Do you define it as being more open-minded? Maybe you can change my mind about the semantics involved?

We all know what she must be thinking and it is what she was conditioned with but then she nodded in agreement and that’s a progress.

People around us trust us and know our intentions aren’t to hurt them. When we suggest to them our point of view, their trust in us may make them willing to see differently. People who care for us appreciate us and have a sense of humility. Since these relationships are rare and they are grateful for having them. This is how you and your cook may have influenced your mom. Trust and faith. I wonder if this would work with everyone.

With this kind of instances I try to change my parent’s mindset. This is a slow process but will be helpful in the long run.

Good for you for taking on the responsibility to do that. Do they often ask for your advice? I love it when the student becomes the master. 😁
Everyone is a teacher and student to each other simultaneously. It all depends on what area there is still a chance to learn more.

Thanks for taking your time, I really appreciate it!

Likewise. Haha, I got carried away typing the responses. There’s always something new to learn in these conversations. Have a good one!

It’s all okay with the people who know themselves and their worth. The thing is that the insecure minds may seem completely fine on the outside but their confidence might vanish completely before even building up. I guess sometimes the criticism and all can affect people to the extent that they don’t care anymore. Sometimes it doesn’t. You’re definitely correct on showing love/positivity against negativity. Of course, no conflicts or issues can be resolved with negative against negative.
It’s not necessarily harassment in every case. The conditions in which someone is brought up plays a vital role sometimes education does too. the keyword being sometimes. Harassment is not the word I see fit.
Good thing is that there is a chance to remould ourselves as we see fit by making the right choices - I guess I never thought about it. People do change. change is inevitable. But the process of changing oneself takes time. What about before this process?
I should’ve used the term responsible instead of liberal. My bad.
I guess we can atleast try to broaden the mindset of those who trust us. Someone who doesn’t know or trust me won’t change their opinion just because I said so.
They do ask for my advice at times, but not always take it. Sometimes they try to impose their thoughts on me for which if I explain how I think about it, its considered as arguing back. I guess the problem of almost every household.
Sorry I got carried away but got to learn so much from you. I hope we always keep learning.

I guess sometimes the criticism and all can affect people to the extent that they don’t care anymore. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Yeah, we tend to become numb in such cases. Apathy is a tough one to escape. Good company, intense motivation from someone, and solid intention seem like the way to move through it.

Harassment is not the word I see fit.

I guess this term may only be true for the extremes. With the advent of media (news), we usually see only extremities and crazy ones. So we base our worldview on how they sell it to us. I like traveling in this case, as we get to see reality as it is without any filter.

change is inevitable. But the process of changing oneself takes time. What about before this process?

We need a certain amount of conviction before sacrificing our old positionality for the new. It takes immense faith to let go of all.
When we look up to someone who lives by life-supporting principles and usually makes the right choice, it makes us have faith in the process. Because we now know someone who has walked the path, and the result is evident. This is the key to changing the world, by not doing but becoming. It takes a big sacrifice to drop old programming and forgo the grim pleasures we get out of choosing negativity. Unless there is a hidden benefit (happiness & peace) involved, no one would sacrifice.

Someone who doesn’t know or trust me won’t change their opinion just because I said so.

You are right about that. Even though your ideas stand the test of time, accepting them depends on the eye of the beholder. Sometimes having heard certain truth changes the psyche.

Sometimes they try to impose their thoughts on me for which if I explain how I think about it, it’s considered as arguing back.

That must be hard for you. Yes, parents seldom find it hard to get out of their roles while dealing with their children. Reasoning is not everyone’s forte. Our emotions sometimes get the better of it. It requires deep humility and the courage to say “I don’t know”.

Sorry I got carried away but got to learn so much from you. I hope we always keep learning.

I also got to learn something new. I like this place, lets hope we don’t hijack this thread. Seems our discussion may pivot somewhere else soon. If it does it’s better to take it somewhere else. :)
Yeah, It feels great to be a lifelong learner.

It was good conversing with you, I think we can go on and on about this topic. Really nice to see your perspective which slightly changed mine, in a good way though.
:)

I am surprised you still replied, even after a long period. Proper etiquettes 👏
I enjoyed conversing with you, too. It’s hard to find intellectual peers who would challenge my perspectives with constructive dialogues. It’s refreshing to find one.
Heyy, feel free to hit me up if and whenever you want to. I’ll drop an Insta ID I use to chat down below where you can reach me.
Have a great day :)

Likewise. Crafty name. :)

hehe thanks ^_^

No, that was a good one! And it’s true drinking is not based on gender