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Idk I’m in a relationship which ik is toxic but everytime I try to come out of it, I just can’t. And the boy he shouts and abuses me on really small issues and always blames me for everything. My mental health is compromised and now I cry myself to sleep and feel anxious in almost everything. I now have trust issues and can’t socialise because I let this perception of ME get inside myself and now I judge myself really badly (which I don’t know is not true) but still can’t get all things out of my head. Everytime he just pushes me so hard that I get a feeling that I’m useless n I shouldn’t stay alive n I hurt myself sometimes… I cause pain to myself for loving him. Ik I should come out of the relationship but love doesn’t let me n he doesn’t respect me at all.😞

Profile picture for Now&Me member @ignoramus
6 replies

Hey dear,
I know it’s hard to come out a relationship but when u have to compromise your mental health , it’s worth it . Because respect is more important than love. Just leave him he doesn’t know your worth . It would be hard when u leave ,you will feel lonely but u will realise it’s the best decision u took. And never judge you because of some asshole . Girl… You deserve a better man not a agressive boy. Just wait for the right person.


It’s like ik what is right for me but I still can’t do it…😞

Profile picture for Now&Me member @ignoramus

You are thinking short-term. Once this abuse compounds, your future self is in deep waters.

Since this is your first relationship, moving away is hard. It is. Once you do it, you’ll feel great. Your intuition will affirm this. Always listen to it. The fear is of not being able to find someone else after moving away.
When you create an opening in your life, the universe fills it in with something better. It’s for you to decide if you deserve it and choose something better than your present situation.

The love you have misidentified is infatuation. It’s your trauma bond speaking and not genuine attraction. The traits of a true partnership are Love, Respect, and Care. All these three have to be mutual at all times.

Do not settle. And do not get into a new relationship quickly. Take some time to grow and heal yourself.
The happiest singles find true love. Because true love doesn’t come from a place of neediness. Happy singles are comfortable being alone by themselves. They are content being complete in and of itself.


I broke up with him but now I feel more lonely and depressed than ever before… I don’t understand 😞


And as I did it he started accusing me of being selfish and useless… he’s like u don’t deserve love and started abusing me really badly… it’s really affecting me 😣

Profile picture for Now&Me member @ignoramus

Hey. I admire your courage to break it off. It’s no easy feat.

You are feeling grief at this moment. This grief is not really for a person. It is for the love you had. This love is the recognition of a being and the state you were in. It’s special. It is always there in you.

Now you have to go through the five stages of grief. Do not bottle up any feelings, use it as an opportunity to make peace with yourself. Whatever you resist, persists.
As the saying goes, “It’s Darkest Before the Dawn”. It’s a matter of time that you’ll start feeling better.

I’ll advise you to go No-Contact with him. Shut off all forms of communications and remove physical memoirs of his from your surroundings. It’s important you do it soon.

I think he showed his true colors just as you broke up with him. He is projecting what he feels about himself. It was never about you. People do this in order to depreciate your self-worth so that you’ll stick around. They subconsciously know that you can do way better.

Does this make sense?

You did the right thing. It’s okay to feel whatever you are feeling. Do not resist the sensations of the feeling itself.

How are you feeling now? What’s going in your mind right now?


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