I would like to share something I wish I had the maturity or the state of mind to do right by, when there was still time. Our parents are ageing, are harsh and abrasive with their words, we don’t get along with their ideals of not wearing clothes a certain way, not behaving a certain way etc. But before we cut them off, i would advise- don’t. Keep them at a distance, do not share every single little thing about your life but keep them in the loop, somewhere in the periphery of your life. They want to be in it. They dont want to be left behind. You presence fuels them.
i have always felt that the need to tell me how to dress, at least from my parents, has been a protective instinct just to not see me get hurt, shamed or questioned. most comments, i’ve come to realise now that i’m older, are because they are just trying to look out for my best interests and want to protect me from all that they have seen or experienced. i agree on this part, that we need not tell them every little detail, because there might always be that generational gap due to which somethings will always seem bizarre to them, however it is SO important, to me at least, to maintain that healthy relationship with them by having conversations with them. also, that too is subjective. i choose to talk to them, because they HAVE BEEN understanding in the past and because they communicate with me similarly. for those of you, who have never seen that kind of effort from your family’s side, can find it difficult to suddenly build that bond now. so, really it all comes down to, how we want to treat others, based on maybe how we have been treated in the past.