Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I wish you could choose me, I wish we were still talking on call late at this night,how can things change suddenly over one night.I can’t go a day without you. We’ve made so many memories and I keep reliving everything. How do I get past this feeling of void? I tried everything to divert myself and I’m forced to sit with my feelings. Why do I so badly want you to choose me? Is it my ego? Or is it really love? Which one is it? Can’t I face a rejection? I’ve been used to getting rejected my whole life but why does this one stink? Is it because you’re the only one who understands me and make me laugh? Or is it because our whole lives are a world apart but I desperately want a miracle in which we could be together? Are you my obsession? What is it that’s making me want to long for you from the day that I texted you? Why am I broken down like this eventhough I knew that we won’t be together? You told me things would get better eventually all I’ve seen is falling apart, you said that we would this over together but all I want to do is hug you and never let go of you. You never gave me false hopes but I guess I’ve given myself on your behalf which is not your fault. Maybe just maybe I hope there was a way in which we could be together, but you told me not to wait for you because your dreams were big enough and you don’t know if you could make it,but little do you know that you will make it but there is no place for me in it. Even when you say that I’m the best thing that has happened to you in a long time I know that you will be having many more in the future and gradually you’ll forget about me ,although you will be the only best thing that will ever happen to me in my whole life, you told me to find a good guy and be happy but how can I? When all I ever want will be moving miles apart. I don’t know if I’ve Strength to get through this.