I wish I was special. I am just not important. I have no purpose. Nothing is special about me. I can't sing, can't cook, can't dance, can't play sports good, I can't make a room laugh, I'm not that pretty, I am not that skinny, I am an over thinker, and over all I just have nothing unique. I wish I could do something that made me special but I just have no talent.

And so? Sophie, you're beautiful. You can write. I can read. And it's lovely.

3am Thoughts

I have an younger sister , we are totally different from eachother in Everything she doesn't likes me i don't know why she is not happy in my moments and that hurts alot , i love her very much but she acts in such way that i don't feel like expressing it to her .. i dont how we will be in next year's but i just want see her happy , can any suggest to improve your relationship , i have tried everything but get the love or can't create the bond i wanted to be with her ....

Coming Out

Im feeling that Im behind all of my classmates. They gonna accomplish this and that.. while me. Stuck here

Anxiety

I am not very well
the covid19 lockdown has spiralled out of control
I feel bad whenever I procastionate
Especially since I am a year 8 student
I have been goofing off while the school gave me work
I do not do my school work cause there is too much

Now my parents are angry with me cause I gave them a bad report card(first time)
My parents cancelled my netflix and now I cannot watch anime since it is a HUGE HUGE STRESS RELIVER for me
I feel like I am dying 
My MUM now hates me
everyone gets better grades than me
I feeel sad and regretful
Please help me


School

Why don't I feel happy on achieving something, even if I feel I start comparing it with others achievements and feel like a loser

Competition

Love is positivity that you get when you wake up early in morning and witness the serenity of nature. Soft soothing weather, chirping of birds, the happiness in the swinging of greenery in the sight as if they are saying we have all planned for everyone of us and you are not left. Just live  with love with light with the immense love that you hold wihin let it win. 👻👻

Love

So couple of days ago I posted a thought where I claimed that all of my crushes get gfs. All. Every. Single. One. And guess what, my current crush also got a gf. I don't get it. Why am I so lonely all the time?  Not only that one of my closest friends Is going away and I got diagnosed with thalassemia.What a horrible horrible Day.

It s really hard to withstand the pressure of expectations 

I'm at my lowest point of my life.  I know I'm the one broke up with you and it was the right thing to do. I wanted you to be happy even I wasn't a part of your life. And now that you've completely moved on and you're happy with someone else, I couldn't get over you. I know it doesn't make sense cuz I was the one who pushed you away. I can't even describe how I feel when I saw you with him, I wanted you to be happy but at what cost?. Does it make me a selfish person to hate the person you're with now? I still look back at the messages you sent, and I know it wasn't the right thing to do but it's messing with my head. I tried to stop feeling this way, I've tried to kill my feelings but nothing seemed to work. I don't want my heart to be broken, I know exactly how this is going and I don't mind driving off the cliff if you're the one guiding me. I don't even know how to try, to forget you cuz you're the one I've ever hoped for. Everything I've ever wanted. You came into my life and gave me a meaning, you wrapped my with all you're love in your arms. I know I'll never gonna find someone like you in this world. And I know there's 0% chance that you're coming back to me. You hate me for pushing you away but I just hope you're with me. 


I'm sorry this is my first post in this app. I don't know if there's any certain way to post or anything. Anyway this is going on my mind for a long time now. 



Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts