I wish i could fast forward my birthday. This year, I don’t have anyone to spend it with. I wonder when i became this lonely. I have a boyfriend who lives in a different city but he won’t try enough to come here on that day. I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to spend my birthday with me as well. But i can’t help feeling really sad and I can’t help feeling like there’s nobody there beside me. My closest friend has moved to a different city and the other two friends who i thought would spend my birthday with me, is going travelling. They’ll return two days after my birthday. I feel so lonely. I had suicidal thoughts on 26th Feb. So the next day I took myself on a self date and purchased a lot of books. But it’s like a constant race against this crippling loneliness and it somehow always catches up. Sorry for being this dramatic if anyone’s reading this.