Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I wish I could be free from the restraints of the chains my parents have put me under. No freedom to go out stuck inside with their words echoing in every room addressing every doubt I have inside. Whenever I even speak the mere thought of leaving the house the look at me with shocked faces yelling at me then laughing at me calling me stupid for wishing to be free from a cage the have no idea they’ve put me in. I don’t know what to do I so desperately want to run away from their grasp but knowing how much they love me and their good intention it kills me inside everyday that I need to leave for my own good for myself but their ‘love’ makes me stay docile I stay in my room crying for a change knowing they’llalways be the same. How do I tell them this if I do they laugh telling me I’ve gone insane that I’m making this up that the westerns view has twisted my thoughts that my friends influenced my actions. They’ll never understand what they make me feel. They come to comfort me with warm hugs calming me but their sharp words cut through my heart like glass. What do I do what am I supposed to do I love them they love me but this love hurts. A love hate relationship is so hard I wish I could stay to make them understand but I’ve just become so tired telling them my thoughts for them to put it aside like I were nothing laughing at me though I laugh too it pains me inside seeing them act like this. I smile at their painful words they say but j won’t tell them any more I’ll draw a line where I won’t tell anyone how I truly feel no my family, friends or counsellor I know they don’t truly care simple because I know they too deal with something too. Is it too selfish of me to want someone to solely exist or be there for me Silently comfortimg me understanding me and listening to me The only thing I can talk honestly from the heart is a peace of paper and ink of a pen.