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⚕️Depression

🧑Anxiety

😰Stress

💗Relationships

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BreakupThought

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Anonymous

I was in a serious relationship for a very long time. I lost my virginity to this person, he was my first love. Through out the years we were together we had issues, because I would cath him messaging other girls. I also took him back because I didn’t know how to feel or let go. The cheating just got even worse! In 2019 I went to my regular doctors visit just getting a normal check up. My doctor told me I had an STI a sexual transmitted infection… I was speechless because he was the only person I would have sexual relationship. I couldn’t believe it I didn’t think he would be capable of doing such a thing. I questioned him and he told me what had happened I never really believed him. Days go by he begs me to talk to him cause he was sorry. That same week I find out he gave me something. He blocks me on Instagram and put some girls name on his bio…I messaged the girl she tells me everything he was making it seem like I was the crazy obsessed gf that he couldn’t get rid off because I wouldn’t leave him. That wasnt the case he was doing anything and everything to keep me around. It gets worse but im gonna keep this short and just mention the things that were extremely major. I took him back months later I find out he is talking to her again and sexring some other girl. He begged me again no to leave him that he will change. That change didn’t last long…he has two phones and I always see suspicious things in his phone and I just found out he hung out with some girl he was getting butt pictures and his excuse was “its was for my homie to get some pu**y. He manipulated it and made it seem it was my fault and for a quick second I believed it. We still talk and hook up but I know our relationship isnt the same and we could never be the same. Im exhausted I question everything, I dont believe anything he says. I feel like im babysitting him and he is my child. I have crazy thoughts like putting a tracker on him. Im obessed with the girl he cheated on me with I wanna know more about her. Its somewhat weird. Im trying to no think about the cheating but its hard. I feel like im sad because of that…im starting to think im depressed. I recently told him im done that I dont wanna be with him anymore and he just said “ok I guess” hasnt texted me since. A part of me is ok because this needs to happen but another part of me Whats to receive a text from him… its like he is a drug and Im addicted. I know that of he texted me to hang out I would consider it. And that bothers me!! Idk what else to do.

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @virgo029
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9 replies
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Anonymous

Girl, I really really really want to give you a tight hug. The MOST difficult step was to let go of him and you did it! Bravo and congratulations on that !!! You took back a cheating person in your life I can imagine how good hearted you are. I can understand the part where u feel like he is a drug and u cannot let go. But trust me, u will find a person who will not only respect you but will make u feel secure by being loyal. You love his guy, i know. It takes time for the feeling to fade away. You may cry, you may feel lonely at times but PLEASE don’t hook up with him more. U will loose out on all the mental progress you made. He has already given you enough mental stress. Now the era of him is done. All the best may you find a person who u DESERVE ❤️

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Niara D @niara

Stay strong girl. Have been through something similar, this phase will be difficult but will go away. You don’t need a toxic person in your life. Even if they try to come back, never let them. You are beautiful and so is your life.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @virgo029
@virgo029

Okay, I get it, I know it hurts, some days it will hurt even more and some days it will hurt less but eventually the pain will fade away.
Letting go of a person is like leaving a part of life and I know it is difficult but thats the best thing to do. I wish you could have understood earlier that he is not worth YOU but better late than never. You know cheating is not an option it’s a choice, had it been once, it will happen again and again because the person CHOSE to cheat on you, you lost him long ago, honey, it was just the parting pain that you wanted to avoid and you kept being with him.
I know your emotions may be all over the place right now, I know you may be thinking of talking to him again or wishing that you never talked to him but just know that he was a lesson, had you never talked, you never would have known how people work, how they behave when they are doing something bad etc.
All I want to say is bad things happen, we take it as a lesson, we move on, and only then we can find happiness.
Just know that I am so proud of you that you decided to put an end to that vicious circle you were in.
It takes a lot to part with someone and I understand but some people are just not worth the efforts, the forgiveness, the kindness.
Even though it hurts today, its for the best, so that you can cry today and have a good laugh in future.
Just know that you did the right thing and we are always with you.
Good luck❤

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Anonymous

You are such a nice soul…i m just a reader but can’t leave the page without appreciating you… Kudos to the people like you here.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @virgo029
@virgo029

Thank you for appreciating. Just doing my little part❤

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This thought has been deleted by the thought author
@eager_banana

Love to have fun

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