I was harassed by a family member. According to other people it was nothing major because they were just touches but for me it was a very big thing. I am not comfortable with boys now.

I'm so deeply saddened by this. I hope everything is okay now.

That's horrible to listen all these people saying like that. Like you don't know na how much pain i go through or how much it effects my mental health. I can completely understand you. When somebody touches you like that you often can't trust anybody else. 
But i hope everything is fine now. 

Work

So just a few days back me, my mom and her mom went to a big store with like 8 floors of things so we were in the ground floor waiting for the elevator when I saw a man standing opposite to me and then after sometime I was just looking around and then noticed that the man was now standing right behind me ...I felt a little weird but I left it then when the elevator opened we all went in and the man came and stood right next to me even when there was plenty of space ....and then after sometime I saw he was shaking something (his penis ) and was looking at me at the same time...I just became numb there I couldn't do anything and when we reached the 8th floor he started comming near me but I held on to my mom and told her that he was trying to touch me because I couldn't say he was masturbating looking at me and she yelled at him and he took a u turn and went ....I let my mom do the shopping while I just sat on the sofa crying my eyes out because I'm usually the person who would say others to fight for themselves but I couldn't...I just stood there numb ....how can anyone do that . 

Harassment

Someone laughed at my picture and also said that person got afraid of my dark circles and he also addressed me as aunty ji well that hurts .... 

3am Thoughts

This may be a bit much to post on here but it is something that dwells on me deeply. My best friend brother and older cousin raped me in a spare room while I was under the influence. I was well aware of her older brother but that night was my first night meeting her older cousin. The older cousin made and bought us all drinks so I thought nothing of drinking them. When we got out the car I was very tired and went to the spare room to change and get sleep. It was there that they both came in one by one and did what they wanted. Two weeks later I took a pregnancy test that came back negative against all odds. To keep my friendship for all this time I have act as id  nothing ever happened. 
Things like this have continued to happen.I was 15 and they were in there 20’s. I really need advice on what to do i’m not sure what more to do.

Anxiety

When I was a child I wa ssexuallly assaulted, by my cousins. I wasn't even 10 at the time. In fear I strangled my self to fall asleep. It took months for it to stop. Because I was so young no one understood me or thought I was lying. I just learned my sister ha did worse than I did being a year older. My dad was assaulted as a child as well but that doesn't make me less scared of him. He's a touchy playful person who love spherical affection but I cnat tell him why I truly hate it. My mom Said it's normal and she was assaulted too when she was young. I pushed these memories way down until I got my first boyfriend. I kept getting flash backs and had I don't wanna say ptsd but vivid dreams of the memories. I would instead do talking to him about how I felt went home and got "depressed" but no actually. O wanted to push last the emotions so I didn't control what we did, we pushed it to far. Keeping with in standards ( no sex or anything like that ) but after a while o saw similar traits and movements he did that were the same as my abuser. Like holding my throat, neck, back of my head when we kissed,along on my shoulders and holding me and sleeping my hand tightly around others in public. K got scared and made up bs when I broke up with him. Later I had to go to the funeral of the only man who believed me about the assult when I was young, my uncle. I had to watch my cousins be happy and all is nated was for their wives and girlfriends and know the truth but I couldn't. They were happy and past the situation but I was scared.  I brought a pocket knife with me every where that week and even when I slept to be safe. When I got hoem I told my ex the real reason caus ei thought he should know the truth. And only 1 friend. Because we broke up i have no friends at my school anymore, all of mine are at different schools. So I spend my days walking up, going to school on off periods spending my time alone. Sometimes crying, and then class and work. I joined the gym to be a little happier but it's making me sad that everyone is so much more athletic than me. My sister is my best friend and she hates me most days. And worse of all most of my other friends made more friends and usually forget about me. So i have my 2 best friends my sister and my other school friend who usually don't wnay to talk to me and the old guy friends I had that don't liek me anymore. Today I went running around the lake and ran into my ex and his new ( super model pretty) girlfriend. She's perfect and I'm not as pretty I'm sad and I started crying as soon as they left. I got home and was e.otionless. most days I feel empty and nothing. I left all group chats, all snap chat chats and Instagram to make my self feel better but it's not working. I cant kms because ei want to leave but honestly I'm no longer sure, i don't wnat to die but I need help and my family can't pay for therapy. Oh and on top of all of this I might have dyslexia and I can't speak clearly all the time which make sit hard ti get new friends and ofc makes my friends annoyed by me I feel. And lastly I got promoted to a newer harder position at a job I hat but no place will hire a 16 year old who's had no helpful jobs and my friends all work at most of the places in town and I dont want to see them. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just a walking shell? I feel dead in a living body and I can't stand it

Suicidal Ideation

we had an argument with my cousin, idk how to feel about it

Frustration


 I was on Omegle and a thirteen year old was trying to get me to text her in "that way" after I told her Im 20 she then tried to justify this by saying that she had been raped by a 30 year old it ended with me not wanting to deal with this at the moment and I now know hoe awful this world is

Sexual Health

Why is it weird to have feelings for a relative?

Society

Hi, 
I was sexually abused two years ago. And that night keeps recurring in my head. But recently it has been coming to me a lot lately. I did tell my mom when this thing took place but she did not do anything about it, I told my teacher and she didn't do anything about it, I told my guy friends and they didn't do anything about it. Nobody did anything. A year later I was sexually abused again by somebody else and I didn't tell anyone because I knew nobody would do anything. But for some reason, those two nights keep coming to me. Yesterday I was writing my Maths exam and I couldn't, I started crying midway, people thought because I didn't know the questions but in reality those nights kept coming to me. 
I don't know what to do, how do I stop thinking about those nights. 

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