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I was best friends with him before we started to be in a relationship since last year Nov, we moved in together had a great time cooking and cleaning and being a part of each other’s life. Everything happened so quick maybe because we were best friends.

In feb, he decided to move to a different country ( Spain ) and he left. Long distance was hard. From being a part of his day to day life to him forgetting to talk to me for days, left me feeling hurt. I tried communicating and telling him how I feel but it always ended in a fight, he used to block me on every platform and after a week or two.

And he would come back again, this happened for multiple times. In the month of March on my birthday he didn’t even call me to wish me ( we were on good terms then ) it hurt me a lot.

After a week he said he wants to breakup and he can’t do this anymore. He stopped contacting me and replying to me. I was devastated and for a change I went to visit my family who live in a different country after 45 days I came out strong and more focussed on my life

When I travelled back and resumed my work, he contacted me wanting to have dinner. So I cooked him fav meal and we had a good conversation. And he said I love you and I said it back. I didn’t realise I was still in love I thought I moved on and I was at a happy place but indeed. We started kissing and making out and he said he can’t be in a relationship anymore bc he wants to focus on his career and life right now. Me being a supportive gf I said I would wait for him until he wants a relationship until then we both can focus on our career but he denied he spoke about marrying someone else down the road and having kids and he said I’m being impractical and I’m living in my fantasy world. He said he came to tell a final goodbye to me. And that he was sorry. I was so confused if that’s the case, why would he say I love you and get close to me ? I mean him ghosting me was a clear sign of goodbye why should he meet me and tell that to me in person. He said he wants to be friends but I really can’t and I denied.

What hurt the most, is eventho he knows that people from my past had called me emotional and sensitive, and he knows how much that crushed me yet, while leaving he said I’m sensitive.

And now he moved to the UK ( which wasn’t the plan ) but I guess Spain didn’t work out. He is back to ghosting me again.

Im breaking again and I can’t afford to. From a guys point of view, what just happened?
And how do I move on from this.
I work 730 to 1130pm and I have my thesis so I’m super busy but this thought keeps bothering me all day. Any inputs or support will help
Thanks for reading this post.

5 replies
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Nifemi @femi

First thing what a douchebag of guy. And it’ll take sometime to get over him because I can tell how much you really loved him. But remember a failed relationship makes you smarter and there’s that guy out there that’ll will fight the love he has with you. Who knows he maybe the boy that you have as a friend that as been casually fighting hard to get your attention. Point it is no matter the distance he’ll make a daily effort to contact you even if it’s a good morning, i love you text or something more sexual or sensual, he’ll make sure it happens and do everything in his power to make sure he keeps loving you. But for now, block that idiot, erase him for your life, heal and get back out there only on your own terms. My Coach always says “if you fail, you’re on your to succeed”. Never give up on finding a partner that want you to have his babies one day


Yes, I have been back and forth on contacting him. I really want to help him with his career and I know I can’t go back to things of how it was in the past but, I guess I’m grieving for the dead relationship and I can’t seem to move on from it. Maybe I won’t. Because, I felt more comfortable and secure and open with him. Towards the end he treated me very bad, yes but I’m trying to understand the why behind his actions! Am I stupid ? Idk but I love him and I’m not sure how to make him understand that

Nifemi @femi

For a quick moment it’ll seem like you can get the relationship back to the way it was but that’s never the same and if you try to be their friend, trust me when I say it won’t be the same both ways because you’ll be the only one trying. You have to let him go even tho you feel like you’ll never love anyone they you loved him. You’ll find someone only if you move on and use the past as a lesson.


Im still trying to, its been 3 months now. It hurts so bad. If people could really cause this much pain on to the other, what’s the point of being in love !?


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