Rahul @rahulvishwa
I want to tell her that I miss her alot, I want to tell her that I wouldn’t stop loving her even if she leaves me, I want to tell her everything that I couldn’t do for her becoz the time was not right. I want to tell her I meant every promise, every word which I ever told her out of love. Nothing haunts more than the memories and promises that we made together.
There are millions of things that are left unsaid but it wouldn’t matter to her anything now.
She is keeping herself closed to hear and say anything that I have to say.
I want to tell her that its ok to be afraid, I am afraid too but as long as we don’t give up on each other nothing in this world can separate us.
But I guess its too late for that or my be not.
When I met her I saw something special in her, I saw how lonely and emotionally broke she has been over the years. She couldn’t get the love she wanted from anyone, be it family or from the relationship. I remember When I told her how beautiful she is, she couldn’t believe that someone can see her from that prospective. She would often think that I was giving compliments just to make her feel happy. But actually I wasn’t, I actually felt whatever I said to her. She came in to my life like a Star who lightened my world with her light. I was also healing when we both met. And now After 4 years I am standing here again where I was before except this time I am more hurt than ever.
I do hope I survive this time in one piece.
Love and relationship has never been easy for me, due to some past incident, I am always afraid what if that person would leave me someday, what if things doesn’t work out, even before falling in love. So I act cold and emotionally disconnect so that I could convince myself that It will be ok if things dont workout. And When I really convinced myself that its ok to be afraid but not to forget to do the right thing. But still things ended badly.
She is in my mind all the time, I can’t work, I can’t spend time with my family, I can’t feel happy about anything.
Whatever we had it was the most beautiful feeling in the world. I don’t wanna feel this type of love again with anyone. This love belongs to her as well, as she is the one who gave me all the love she had in her heart so I am keeping safe in my heart.
I wish I could do anything to make her stay in my life as it doesn’t make any sense that she is leaving everything we both always wanted.
She is my Love and Always will be.
