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Anonymous

I want a divorce from my husband but it’ll make my parents really sad because they were against this but I wanted to go ahead with the wedding, now how do I gather the courage to tell them that this is not working and I am not happy. My husband fights on the most trivial things and no matter what I do he is never appreciative of me. My parents won’t like this, I don’t know what to do.

2 Comments

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s

Hi. For quite some time, earlier in my marriage, I felt like this as well. Even leading up to actually being married, I felt like maybe I was making a mistake. I was moving to a different country to be with him and it was insane… moving almost 8,000 miles away from my family. My parents loved him; they had nothing bad to say about him.

I think the question is - what do you feel will make you happy? Certainly, you couldn’t of gotten married without feeling some sort of love for your husband?

My husband and I needed to communicate clearly on why we felt the other didn’t care about the other and honestly, it helped. We showed each other that yes, we do love each other and yes, we want to commit to our relationship. We’ve been together for 16 years and been married for 14…

I used to feel like we fought over the most trivial things but I asked him WHY did whatever I did or say upset him so much. I wanted to understand why he was feeling so hurt or frustrated.

Having a third party like a couple therapist may help you with this - it’ll be objective and maybe bring some clarity on what the issue is - if you’re wanting to at least try and figure it out?

I used to feel like all my past relationships went one way each time and I couldn’t understand why I was continuing a pattern… and I realised after I was married to my lovely husband that I always was waiting for the “other shoe to drop” - that someone who is supposed to be close to me was going to EVENTUALLY hurt me in a very scarring way; this stemmed from being raised by a mother who for quite some time in my life, was an alcoholic with a short temper. My sister, (whom I don’t speak to anymore) was the same way as my mother (the physical and emotional abuse bit). My mom never told me she loved me until she was literally on her death bed. I had to understand and accept that not EVERYONE in this world is out to harm me.

Still to this day, I have to remind myself that not everyone in this world wants to intentionally hurt me because that is a major scar that I carry inside.

I also feel like I’ve done quite a bit of damage to my husband in my journey to calm down and realise, he isn’t out to get me. He just wants someone to love him and I do love him very very much.

I hope that helps?

sandeep16

Hey Anonymous, there nothing much to think about it.You fought with you parents and family and you chose him over them. This says how much you love and have affection towards him, but at the starting phase of the relation fights are common for everyone because of some misunderstaing. For all these things to get sorted out you need to have some healthy communication with your husband, it helps your relation alot because he gets to know your pain and that what soulmate means.Just have a talk and stay happy and we are here all the time for you and feel free to interact.