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Anonymous

i wanna hit someone, i tried so hard to feel happy in this last 7 months and i love my mom so much but her behavior ,some actions and laziness driving me crazy ,i am feeling so angry that i cant tell anything to her if i do she will hurt herself , why just she don’t understand talking about how much she do for us and family every single day is so annoying , i love spending time with her but all day seeing her laziness and doing everything without any kinda interest but just for money , why she dont understand money cant buy family’s happiness, she dont like guests, she dont like to call her mom or son , but why ? i cant figure out in last seven months how to change her thoughts for good ? today i feel horibble , i talked horribly with her but i really want to tell she is much wronger than right , i know my english also sucks so no worries !! wish you all bright day <<.

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x

hi anonymous - i feel your pain. i feel your frustrations. living with a parent that is unaware of themselves and the wider world around them is difficult. what is even more difficult is putting the responsibility or the urgency on ourselves to try and change what they’ve accumulated in their entire lifetime. it’s very, very hard, if not impossible, to outright change people’s fixed perceptions. i know that i’ve spent a majority of my life miserable trying to get my mom to see that she wasn’t always right also. i can you can say that for us children… we get a sense of security to see our parents grow and be this ideal version of themselves we have in our minds. i think for children, getting our parents to change is a way for us to feel comfort because we have deep attachments to their ability to protect us. but in the end, we have to realize it is not our job to ‘rise’ them up to the place we think they should be. we are not their parents after all. learning to accept their failures while working on what we could work on only ourselves will give us more peace. sometimes people grow more or are at least inspired when they see others grow, but that is also only something we can hope for but not expect. work on living within your own boundaries and happiness. wishing you the best. xx

f

Hey Xoursa !! Thank You so much for your perspective on my situation and you are right it’s not my job to rise her up for my sake of happiness and I am going to try to accept her failure side because she is my best friend and when I am angry or sad, she made my favorite “aloo pratha”.after all she loves me more than anyone, so I am not gonna lose her because of some stupid incident, thank you again for making me feel better !!

s

Hi!
It could be “give up” attitude and/or maybe she is fed up of doing all the household chores everyday. If you all help her out then maybe it’s her mental health making her feel like this. She too wants a change and not getting it is making her all frustated. There are many factors which tend to make a person’s habit change.

Talk to her heart to heart. Maybe she will come out and tell you what’s going in her head and maybe it will make things better. When you feel this is the right time, just tell her how her behaviour is affecting you or the family in general. Maybe “Motivation” factor is lost and doesn’t want to do anything and after talking she feels better and knows that you are there for her.

Anonymous

Thank you st1199, for your help, I am going to take your advice and at the right time I will talk to her about how I feel.

s

Great.