I used to like a guy back in scul but he wasn't ready at that time.  Then afterwards he was ready but didn't tell but used to chat once a month then after that when I asked him . He said he has different priorities right now n doesn't want that thing . Then I told him alot of things but apologized after 2 years n now we're friends but my feelings came back n I told him I've been liking him since 9 years.  He's shocked . He doesn't even know me much . We were in same standard for once.  What he wants , he's not clear with it.  I don't know what to do.  Plus he's into studies n all v much .

Boyfriend

I am not able to keep him out of my mind after breakup. Deep down i just keep waiting for his his. I am just hoping that he will msg and everything will be sorted. At the same time i know that the relationship wasnt good for me and this false hope (that he'll message) is just going to slow down the moving on process. I feel trapped. What do i do.

Breakup

I got to know this guy from a dating app. I wanted to take things slow but he was very sure about dating me he assured me he will handle everything and insisted me to give it a try. So We started to date and dated for 9 days and all of a sudden he ghosted. He said his result for some exam he had given is out and he hasn't made it. Since then he stopped calling or messaging and started ignoring me. I tried to meet him to understand his situation but he isn't even meeting. He is talking to me all rude. And he is blaming me for his behavior. He replies to my text after 2-3 days never return/picks my calls and give any excuse like he isn't well or had slept. Does these signs means he is no more interested in me? I feel like I don't hold any value in his life and he is treating me as an option. Also I feel I dnt deserve this kind of ignorance and behavior. I get invested into relationships which eventually hurts me. Sometimes I feel I should become cold about loving people in my life. Or I should give up on dating as people nowadays opt to leave rather than solving issues. 

Anxiety

i wanna share something …and that is about my relationship . So we broke up a week ago just because I was more involved in this relationship and i wanted to focus on myself , he never cared about me and he didn’t even had feelings for me …so we broke up …after that , the next day  we were like so quite and not talking to each other …a few days passed and he started behaving like suddenly he cares a lot …when we were in relationship he never texted me …i was the one who texted first and now after breakup he text me almost every second day for random things like how much I have studied , am i coming next day to class , etc etc …after classes he asks me to wait for him so that we can go home together , in classes he saves seat for me and ask me to sit next to him …like why man …now what you want …if he’s like to be friends with me then this is not a friendship but i think it’s going beyond that …and on Monday what happened was that we were walking together to the bus stop and laughing at random things , it was so different that day that I can’t explain in words …it was like we both were in crowd but nobody was there …we were walking , he was like - walk slowly , we’ll sit somewhere and talk for a while …you know i am a kind of person who have nothing to share and he was also like that but nowadays he’s like sharing everything with me , each and every small thing which he never used to do …so i was talking about that day …then we reached the bus stop and he was saying something about hands i don’t remember exactly but after that he was holding my hand and we both were in public but still holding hands , for the first time he was not afraid to hold my hand in public otherwise he never did this before …it was so romantic , we were looking into each other’s eyes , laughing at anything , holding hands and his bus came but he said that you’ll be alone so I’ll go in next bus …he was actually behaving so nice that I’m confused what he wants now …and after that day when we met he called me before meeting that he’s waiting for me, for the class and then we were walking on the road i was walking like I don’t care about anything and he said nothing but he himself started walking on the side of the road and got me to the other side …he was like so protective that time …idk what’s this happening …why is he behaving like this after breakup …when we were in relationship then he never cared and now …Idk what should I do …what’s this happening idk …why it’s happening idk …

After a year my ex who broke up w me unfollowed me all of a sudden. What does this mean. I know that he cared abt me 2 months ago

Hey guys. So a year back I went through a trauma, I ignored my emotions then, got myself busy with work and stuffs but after the COVID situation hit us all, I started to feel that, those emotions I've been running from started to come back and I was kinda sure I am not doing well. My mental health was a mess and I had no idea. so I shared some of my thoughts with my boyfriend as he is the closest person to me, surprisingly enough he replied "You're overthinking". It made me feel hurt, confused and I felt helpless. I decided to take a break from this relationship and I told that to him face to face and he replied with the same "you're overthinking, take time and sort out your thoughts, don't end a 3 year old relationship just like that", I gave it a proper thought and my thoughts were the same. This relationship was not helping me grow and I don't want to continue just because it's a 3 year old relationship. Now he doesn't wanna break up and I feel suffocated. How can a person change so much that I can't even recognize this person anymore?

Mental Health

I tried ignoring my feelings like most people in m lie said, pretending iamokby posting pretty pictures and not speaking to him but deep down, I hoped he would like the pictures and return to me just because, setting aside all that caused us to disagree because it felt worse not being near me. He was my first love, however he lied about his name, wanted me to send him money I did not have that he believed I had, decided he was done after the first month thus he started courting another all the while keeping me close for months while he ravished her as he had promised only me. I feel ashamed when I look back at it, and worse so because after a whole year of separation and watching him grow with the one he let me for still desire him. He is on m mind first thing in the morning and last thing before I sleep. I thought I was obsessed for a while and did not know why it was so hard to control myself and stop stalking him on insta. I have felt pity, sadness, anger, pain, hoping one day I would wake up and it would not make me teary. No one knows before he left he threatened to release m nudes to all m followers in the name of making me feel the pain I caused him, yet I did not even once tell him I did not value him like he did to me or that I was done with him. His justification for it was that he was angry and that's why he was hurtful. Sometimes I wonder if he treats her that way too, or if he just did that to me. I wish he'd apologize but I was the only one who ever did that. Now I fear that I hold so much anger inside me not only because of what he did but because for the first time in my life I let someone in, plus they wanted me and I wanted them too.  I feel messy inside, and I don't know how to fix myself. I am too scared to let anyone in and when I try I find myself being rather cold and pushing them away. Feels like he took away my warmth and naivety. Sometimes I regret sometimes I don't. I used to be so strong-willed and strong-minded on cases like these, now I can't pick myself up completely. All I feel is pain I don't know how to heal and anger I don't even realize I have until I lash out over minor things. The close friends I had who know part of the story grew tired of listening and all said they do not want to hear it. I still do not feel better. Internally I have anger on self for not forgetting them when i should and for letting them treat me as they did.

Long Distance Relationship

 i’m about to rant my heart out so here it goes. 

 i’ve been talking to this dude for three years now off and on.  I started talking to him when I was a freshman in high school and now I’m about to enter my senior year. I was just a baby when we started talking, I’ve had many of my firsts with him. First kiss, first guy went to second base with, first guy I fell in love with. But the problem is I didn’t fall in love with him, I fell in love with a version of him that I created in my head.  The version of him that I created in my head is sweet, kind, and caring. The real him can be that sometimes but only with evil intentions behind it. He always asks for nudes, to “get him off”.  and for a long time I agreed to be friends with benefits because I thought that maybe, just maybe one day he would start to love me back and that it wasn’t really just one-sided for all this time.  I act like I don’t care, like I’m heartless. And sometimes I genuinely don’t, it used to be worse but the past year I’ve learned that all I need is myself. But late at night when I’m by myself it’s exactly what I think about.  I am so tired of being used for my body by all these boys. And I know I have sweet ones at my feet too, but as hard as I try I can never get myself to like them and I wish I knew why. Trust me, I would like them if I could but I just can’t seem to. I only like him. It’s always been him. I hate him so much that I still love him. He’s not even  that cute, but I love every single one of his flaws. He thinks I’m dumb, that I don’t know what he’s doing. I know exactly what he’s doing and I am continuing  to let it happen but for what? I couldn’t tell you.  The end of my sophomore year before quarantine I went over to this one dudes house because I thought maybe he genuinely liked me. He acted sweet and kind in the beginning. I missed all the red flags and I don’t know why none of my friends told me anything. I went over to his house after school one day , We were watching sex education on Netflix. It’s a funny show. I had planned to maybe make out with him but nothing more than that. So we started to make out, and next thing you know he was pulling down his pants and we were at second base so I was like what the hell and I sucked his dick. Then he went down on me and it was the first guy that  has ever gone down on me before and may I add he did horribly. But that’s besides the point, after that he was on top of me mind you both are pants are off. He asks “ can I?”  knowing that I had never had sex before. I kind of mumbled a “sure”  obviously looking uncomfortable. He did it anyway. I didn’t really want to. I was so glimpse in my body language should have told him that I obviously wanted him to stop but he never did and I wanted to  say something but words couldn’t form and they never came out. I guess it wasn’t rape technically since I said sure but I wanted him to stop I was pushing him to get off of me but he was too heavy. I guess he didn’t realize. Am I just too nice of a person? Did I get raped?  i’m crying writing this because I just don’t understand what happened to me. The next day at school he unadded me and told me he was getting back with his ex girlfriend and I haven’t spoken to him since. I haven’t wanted to speak to him anyways.  he would do weird shit to me at school before that too. He grabbed my ass one time and it made me super uncomfortable which should have been obvious. Lots of things should have been obvious. But I guess some dudes are just too stupid to realize that. Or was that my fault as well? Then quarantine happened.  i’m kind of glad that quarantine happened at the time  it did. But at the same time I developed an eating disorder and lost about 30 pounds in a short period of time. I still struggle with an eating disorder, it’s not as bad as it was. But I get so mad at myself for eating too much. I ate a lot today and I feel like shit.  then don’t get me started on my toxic ass household and family. I love my grandma with all my heart but she makes these little comments all the time with what I eat. I got a prom dress the other day and she said that I better watch what I eat until prom to make sure I still fit in it. I love that woman with all my heart but why does she have to do that? My dad doesn’t know how to hold a normal conversation without screaming at me . He will scream at me for 10 minutes straight and then come back five minutes later acting like nothing ever happened trying to love upon me. I will never marry a man like my father. Are there any good guys left? That I can actually like? Or maybe I’m doomed to be alone. These are the thoughts that keep me up at night, I wish they were happy ones.  I miss being a little girl and having innocent thoughts before going to bed. Dreaming about pirate ships and mermaids and being so excited to go to school the next day and see my best friends. I don’t even go to school anymore, and my grades are horrible. We only have like a week of school left and I have no motivation to fix my grades whatsoever but I need to. I need to so I can get into a good college and move far far away get away from this life that I’m living now.  that’s the sliver of hope that I’m holding onto. Because right now, and for the past few weeks I genuinely have not wanted to be on this earth. I’m staying for my best friend, dog, and grandma. And that small sliver of hope that one day I will have a new life. 

Exhausted

Guys i need help... So my Friend is like always running away from his responsibilities as well as his problems. And like when we gave him an advice he always thinks that we're mad at him... What do you think should i say to him or do to him? 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts