I used to have this friend and she ended the friendship over something kind of annoying at this point. It was just we all had a trip planned (us four friends) but then we cancelled the trip in May because one of friends was looking for a job - let’s call her Dove (the trip was in late August). At the time, one of my friends had a family trip she decided she was going to take (let’s call her Frog). Frog invited me to tag along because she knew I had already taken the vacation off and I don’t have the best family situation, so I think she felt a bit bad for me even subconsciously. Unfortunately, in late June, Dove ended up passing away suddenly, which was one of the worst things to ever happen to me. I am still grieving over it. There’s very few moments that I don’t. Well, my last friend who’ve I’ve not mentioned (let’s call her Turtle), Frog, and I were all pretty devastated. Also, Frog and Turtle weren’t the closest for more context. They never seemed to call each or communicate as much unless we were all in a group. Anyway, Frog and I never discretely told Turtle we were going on Frog’s family trip, which I later perceived might be the best, but it was not my trip and again the Turtle/Frog friendship was not my business. Anyway, she called me after saying I was horrible friend since I didn’t go on a vacation with both of them and how dare I not invite her (even though we had plans for her to visit me that next weekend without Frog which she promptly cancelled on that call) She didn’t have the same reaction to Frog. While I think i could have communicated to her about the trip, i thought the two were just separate friendships sometimes. She basically had stopped talking to me and ignores me now. She wants me to chase her and apologize a ton but I honestly don’t have the energy because days are already hard. I miss her but I’ve tilt tried to make plans to talk, to see her, to just check in on her on hard days. But at this point, one of my best friends died and another no longer thinks I’m worth being friends with.
Aoi @aoi
First of all, condolence to all of you. I hope you will all figure things out. Maybe you are just all tired and everything is piling up that’s why your friend said that. Maybe she didn’t mean it and is just having a hard time. She lost a dear friend and she was just afraid that she will lose another one because of the trip in which she was not included. Maybe anxiety and overthinking got her. Give yourselves some time to breathe and talk it out when you feel like the storm has calmed down.
We just have to see I guess
I mean I have. I have really tried to message/call/understand, but we’re adults in different cities, and I cannot exactly knock on her door to make her sit down with me. She’s kind of decided what’s best for her is to ignore me. And I guess I don’t know what to do now other than move on myself.
