3am Thoughts

had a paranormal experience just now

Confusion

Program 

Is it just me or many people think that people have over glorified the concept relationship
I mean i get it some people are in relationships but its not some compulsion that you need to be in a relationship to stay happy still we are being seen as nerds and are asked constantly like still single ho 
Arre haan bhai haan ab zabardasti bna lein kya pakadke aur nhi bnayi kbhi toh kya ho gya aur doosri baat meri life hai yaar tum apna dekho naa mereko career pe focus krne do 
And my god this bollywood has create such a ruckus in our environment with movies like kaho naa pyar hai,kuch kuch hota hai and stupid songs

Adulting

A in my name stands for Akelapan🙂

Rabbit won the race coz other animals weren't judgmental. The modern world wouldn't even let the tortoise compete. Lol XD

I am a 20 year adult and still can't go out on my own. My overprotective overcontrolling parents gave me a rant when I just wanted to go out with friends for lunch. Sick of it.

Eating Disorder

I always hide my real feelings because I don't wanna break the mood in the house. But today maybe something triggered it and I don't know what it is but it was just too much. My mood was fine then in a snap it just changed and it became sour. This also happened before. It's just that I always feel pressured in anything that I do. Even if it's a small matter. I always feel like I'm a failure because I have such high expectations from all of my family including myself. Most of the time it's not like this, I could always control it till the end of the day then at night when I'm alone I just let it out. I don't want to burden to tell it to anyone surrounding me because I don't wanna burden them specially my family. They already have tons of problems in their plate. Also we are currently fostering someone, and that just added more responsibilities and problems for them. I don't wanna create more. I don't want them to feel like they neglected me or sum like that. I also blame myself for everything. I always think that because I was born, then this happened. I think like that because I am most probably an accident child. My mother got pregnant before the wedding. And my mother's family hates my dad and just made their relationship worst because they sabotaged his things. I have constant breakdowns. I also overthink too much. I always think that my parents deserve a much better child than me and that I shouldn't be alive...

Meredith was everything I wanted. I miss her like crazy and I love her like crazy. ￼

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