I tried and I am trying to get my life together,to put back the broken pieces,to understand the hurt but nothing seems to work and the pain just comes back 

Depression

I feel myself falling out of love. I don’t know what to do, i have the feeling that he listens to what I have to say but doesn’t hear me (idk if that makes sense). I try so hard to keep￼ him happy and when I freak out about something that I don’t like he says: “you’re always angry and unpleasant.” when I’m just trying to make him happy. I don’t know what I can gekke him to change his way of thinking 

Love

The fact that I’m here because of my introvert skills and realising that I’m too introvert for even expressing my emotions here !!! ( #lifesucks moment ) 

Lonely

The long you live,
The more you suffer 😔😞

3am Thoughts

I care too much
I get attached to people 
and I end up getting hurt
how can I not care?

How did we get here? I used to know you so well ..

Loss

I'm a 22 years old female and I started dating a guy in September, we clicked pretty instantly. It's not my first time in a relationship but somehow I end up having very long chats and calls till 3 in the morning and I felt as if I was not having my me time. 

He is very supportive and pampering guy but then there are some things that are bothering me.

So the list of problems are
1. He is a chain smoker
2. He has a very chaotic schedule
3. He is in buisness and earning well but he hasn't completed his bachelor's degree.
4. He is smaller in height compare to me and so I'm not that attracted to him physically.
5. He is 32 and planning to do his bachelor's now so he'll graduate at the age of 36 and will start some new buisness which is making me worrying like anything.
6. He is not virgin and he has pretty good experience in bed but still when I'm with him he is not able to perform well. 

I want to leave the relationship but then I'm having two kinda thoughts

1st one is that I should not leave him like a selfish person and I should be there when he is struggling and going through his journey as I'm not pushing him to improve because he also has this will in him to improve.

2nd is that I'm only 22 and I want to work on myself, I'm feeling as in I'm hampering my own growth while helping him as I have this natural motherly instinct of supporting my partner like anything and I'm not stable enough to support him like that. He is not asking me to guide him like a mother but then I cannot stop myself sometimes and I end up feeling wasting my time when I should be improving myself.

Someone please look at it objectively and tell me what do I do.

Insecurity

janab aisa hai , sabse bada paisa hai 🌚😌

I can't even share this. nahi...kisi ko nahi bataana hai. For recent 2 days, I am feeling Suicidal throughout the day. I am feeling hopeless. (no motivation) And now I took Ayurveda Medicines for Suicidal Ideation. Also, in the college (in the recent 2 days), my hands are shaking or cannot hold pen to write the content in the book when teacher used to dictate for a long time. I am feeling hungry/thirsty during the lectures even after drinking a lot of water. Actually, the problem is from the entire college, only I submitted the research paper on Blockchain Technology to Cambridge University, England and Prince Sultan University, Saudi Arabia for which I didn't sleep properly for 2 days (29 and 30th July 2022) because I was generating the report (research paper) and everyone expects from me a lot but the issue is (let it be... I can't even say it here). The problem is no matter to where I submit the research papers, I am not getting satisfied.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts