I thought I was living happily even for just awhile. I am the type who always look chill on the outside, but perhaps I am the opposite on the inside, a wreck, mess. And now my anxieties are back. Never have I thought that I have any fear because usually when I see something hideous and scary, I only get a little bit shock and later on I would normalize around it.
I am afraid of being betrayed, becoming alone, or left. That is why I beat myself up whenever I get low grades. I feel discouraged because I clearly know what my family will say to me. Useless, good for nothing, I don’t want to prove them wrong anymore, I don’t want to feel this pain of trying to satisfy them but I have to.
Mango @mangoice
Who cares what your parents think or what anyone thinks? Be confident in yourself and make sure your happy above any one else!! Dont get good grades for them, get good grades for you! Thats how i function at least, and its great. Theres no need to impress anyone but yourself
Thank you. I am born in a country, where we follow this ideology of listening to elders and be obedient. I have been living this way for 15 years so it is normal but a sad reality I have to face each time I feel happy which is why I can never become a happy person because I spend most of my time worrying about stuff like this. It would be better if I just die. I have nothing to offer to life anyway.
Mango @mangoice
Im from Mexico, where are you from? I understand what its like to just be forced to listen and obey, but as you get older your realize ay fuck that, i got my owm life. Once you hit like 17 or 18 you just stop caring, i promise
Once I am 18, ofc, because I will be an adult, however, I think it will be hard to let it go cuz its really adhesive like a super glue. I am from an Asian country.
Mango @mangoice
Nonsense… YOU GOT THIS, I KNOW YOU DO. GOOD LUCKKK AND STAY HYDRATED
Thank you for believing in me.
