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i thought i was improving my body shape, i was really happy with where i was. then i started to see that my family started to act differently with me - and said that maybe i was heavily bloated because i eat too much or maybe i should exercise. when i tell them i don’t even eat that much and i do heavy workouts everyday, they look at me as if im lying and laugh it off. earlier today my mom was talking to me about how BADLY bloated i am and she suggested that maybe i was “putting on a bit of weight” or that i should “do more than 30 crunches” (when i work out for 30 minutes a day). she kept talking and said “you were never that skinny anyway, you look well-fed.” that hurt so much because ever since last summer ive been struggling with my body image and i’ve gone days without eating enough food, but as soon as i try to healthily lose weight it’s like i’ve gained more than before. i get called lazy by my brother, and it never ends with my mom on how i need to work out more. as soon as i start feeling better about myself my own family has to tear me down and unconsciously have me fall apart. I just never want to stand up from my bed again and not eat anything anymore. i’ve lost the will to do what’s healthy if my family, my #1 supporters, are putting me in a position of self hatred

4 replies

Hi there love. I’ve dealt with body image issues my entire life too. I was a really fat kid and I lost weight when I was 17 years old. Gained it back again when I was 19. Lost again at 20. Now gained it again at 22. So, as you can see, it’s been very “unhealthy” and this led me to have issues such as binge eating and purging and what not. It has really affected me and my mental health.
From my own experience, I’d just like to tell you that do not take unhealthy measures to lose weight. Do not starve yourself or restrict yourself or go on diets for a very long time. I did that and it led me nowhere.
These things have a major long-term effect which are not good for your overall health. No matter what anyone says, please do not let it affect you. Sometimes my parents don’t understand too and I absolutely hate it. But then I tell myself that I am alone in this journey and I need to do what’s good for me (on a long-term basis) so please, I beg you to not put ourselves through an unhealthy way of losing weight! If you have any other questions or worries, please do ask me. I’d be happy to help…


My mom was like this too - whenever I told her I needed a bigger size, she’d give me a side eye look. Or when I wanted a snack, she’d say to me “No man will want to marry a BIG woman”. I reckon she said that because she too was overweight and didn’t feel good about herself.

I’m not skinny, I in fact wear plus size clothes and although I don’t like how I look, I know that I can change it. I’ve lost weight by going to the gym and slimming down what I call my “shelf” which is my butt!

Even though we’re in Quarantine, I’ve noticed that my stomach isn’t as bulbous as it usually is and I’m not even doing anything different - other than cutting down on refined sugar.

You don’t have to try some crazy diet or not eat - that is NOT healthy because your body needs energy to function. This is your journey - not theirs. Only concentrate on your journey. If your goal is to be healthier to live longer, then great - do that. Skinny / skinnier does not equal beautiful or healthy. There are some unhealthy skinny people - I think supermodels and other celebrities will tell you that they too have had some mental health issues i.e. body dysmorphia or anorexia / bulimia. No one is perfect.

I’d recommend that you speak with your doctor - even though it takes A LOT of courage to say, “Hey, I want to lose some weight, can you help me do this?” I think that’d be the best thing. Let them know that your family’s comments are troubling you and they too will most likely say that this journey isn’t for them, its for you.

Good luck.


yooo take a chill pill dude
what is u when u get flowed by other’s word. u know u are trying it doesn’t mean that u will get is soon as u started and talking about parents i’m suffering too. my mom doesn’t allow me dinner it’s rarely. i used to be 68 kg when i was just 14 yrs. and my brother and mom let’s not talk abt them. then i started building bold personality and giving them savage replies i won’t let myself get hurt my their stupid words anymore. just don’t take things personally. i achieved my goal im 18 and i’m 50 kg


Never, EVER lose your determination. Be strong and show them they are wrong. (wow that kinda rhymed) I’ve been overweight fat-shamed my whole life, both my parents would call me fat and told me I should exercise more. My sister and 'friends" made fun of my body which I felt really insecure about. After a few months I got sick of it so I started dancing and it was actually kind of fun so I did a LOT of dancing and dieting (only a little) as a result, I lost 45 pounds.
You can’t really control bloating. Some people have very extreme bloating in the night but when they wake up in the morning, all the bloat is gone. You bloat because of indigestion, maybe allergies, stress, menstruation if you’re a girl, and when you drink too much water (for some people) and it could cause a really stuffed feeling. I’m not saying you should drink less water but maybe you should drink more if you aren’t drinking enough. But do you bloat or is it belly fat?
Not eating enough will only do more harm than good for your body. The main key to losing weight is eating healthy and maintaining a healthy routine. Don’t do heavy workouts if your body isn’t used to it yet. It could cause bad cramps and breathing problems. (I feel like I’m giving a health lesson😅) Losing weight and losing fat are two different things. Think for a minute and think about what you really want. When you lose weight, you could be losing muscle since fat is more stubborn and you could end up with more fat than muscle. Focus on fat burning exercises rather than ones that focuses on your muscles.
I recommend doing something you enjoy. Maybe listen to music while doing workouts but I hope you don’t get too carried away with losing weight. I was close to being underweight once and got diagnosed with anorexia (I’m fine now) Spend time on your hobbies! Even if you don’t have any, it’s always nice to start a new one. I know I’m answering this kind of late and I’m not sure if you would see this but I hope you do. Remember this: don’t listen to others opinions, you should love yourself and focus on the things in life that make you happy. If you don’t enjoy your life right now, someday in the future you’ll regret it. Fighting! 😊


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