Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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⚕️Depression

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💗Relationships

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Anonymous

I thought i got over a very one sided friendship. Recently my old wounds started to open up. I’m desperate. Whenever I see him with other friends, my mind goes haywire. I dont want this to influence my studies. I need help. Someone help me.

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5 replies
@savvy

my best friend and i stopped talking over a year ago and i lost my shit over it. but seeing her with other people makes me feel good because i know she’s happy and even though i hate it, i want what’s best for you. you guys stopped being friends for a reason. remember that every time you see him. i know it can be hard and i’m here if you need anything.

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Anonymous

Surely there’s something that made you think and call it a one-sided friendship. By all means, evaluate if talking to him another time (if you haven’t perhaps already done that several times) is going to help you. I know it’s easier said than done, but I’m currently going through something similar (minus the seeing him with other friends part), I’m dealing with a person who used to be a very close friend, refuses to accept there is anything wrong because he doesn’t want to deal with a difficult conversation. For me, this turned to a one sided friendship long back and I know I tried my best to express how I feel, but after a point it impacted my mentalhealth to a point that I had to take a call. Decided to completely block him out and still working on how I feel about it.
Remember it is a process in the end, so it won’t change overnight (as much as I wished right now it did), take your time to heal from this, but also if he’s being such a hindrance to your studies, your focus should be to identify the best next step for you right now.
 
One way to look at it is if studying and getting a good grade is aligned to what you want from your future. When you compare that to a one sided friendship that you’re trying to save - it just doesn’t feel worth it
Here for you, if you need to talk! And a BIG HUG

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Anonymous

I totally agree with you, sadly something similar happened to my a group of my good close friends and I’m no longer friends with them. At times it hurts to see them.
This breakup from them created a lot of stress ,forgetfulness and low motivation trying to cope up with them. But that’s also a part of letting things go which were a part of your life.
I hope this helps

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Anonymous

been there before, my ex-boyfriend used to have this kind of a hold on me (unknowingly) wherein I would just lose my shit if I saw him with some other friends. And maybe that was when I was younger and hadn’t developed those mechanisms to know how to deal with it. And I don’t know if this is the right answer but, the only time I got over it was when I found out he cheated on me. It’s not healthy. And I would wish you coped with it much sooner than I did. I think realising where you’re headed in life and if this person fits in your life as an important friend or not, helps in taking things into perspective. I was able to cope only once I decided in my mind that I wanted to. That’s literally all there is. THAT ONE DECISION, and will power, nothing else can save you. And how to go about it is to decrease gradually. Not all at once. Because that has more chances of you snapping back to the same pattern. It’s normal for old memories to get refreshed at times because of some very specific things. So don’t worry, that can happen. But ultimately it is for you to decide where you want to be with this. Do you value your own wellbeing, self esteem and mood? If yes then bud yo gotta do it for you, you gotta let go, in a healthy manner that doens’t end up ruining you in return. Just try everything to distance yourself through whatever activitities and hobbies you like.

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Anonymous

I think you should talk to him once. Because may be he also feels the same for you and what’s harm in trying. You will come to know what you should do. All the best and be happy.

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