I think too much. I think ahead. I think behind. I think sideways. I think it all. If it exists, I've fucking thought if it.🦋

Adulting

I feel like I'm such a useless person
I mess up things that are so easy to be done
I feel so bad for my parents having a child like me, hopeless, they deserve better child
They work so hard for me , sacrificed so much for me but still I can't get to my senses and continue to waste my time in shits
I can't even die, as my brother already died 3yrs ago
If I die my parents will be left alone 
I choose not to leave them
But this sorrow of me not doing anything in my life will eat me 
I hate myself

3am Thoughts

everyday is a bad day it doesn't matter how good it looks outside I just never have the chance to except a good day there's always something happening sometimes my friends help but at the same time they dont im just in so much pain i cant explain i cry all day and night thinking about this one person but its like they dont care, they sat next to me on the bus today but im still happy they like someone that cares for them 

Anxiety

Any medico Here ?? 

Diseases

Milogi jis Shaam usse beimaani kahunga..raat dhalne do subah tak Kahaani kahunga

So basically I asked this girl
Bear in mind is an Brown girl who has strict
Parents I really like her and whenever I asked her
If she wanted to be friends she said she doesn’t talk to boys. However I always use to see her always look my way and check me out I asked her again if she wanted to be friends months later she said the same thing saying she doesn’t talk to no boys am just confused on what I should do next I really like her she’s my type I barely pay attention to women but she’s different. Do I just wait it out for her to come to me or do I just move on.

My boyfriend was cheating on me donce last 6 months. he is 24. He met a girl while traveling. She is 32.  They did went for coffee, did night outs, parties, went to trips, started doing weed and drugs. Lost all his money on trips with her, dinners etc. Average trip costed him 2 lakh.
After all this was happening, i got to know though others that they are getting sexually involve with each other. He never told me this thing untill i asked him. On which he told she was the one who always forces her. And they did it more than 30 times. 
He said that he was trying to push her away since 1st month. But i don't know how that is possible. 
After all this mess i gave up on him in January 2021. Stopped calling, texting and everything. Also didn't attend his calls n text too....
Now after seeing that i am very angry he suddenly became very sorry for everything he did. N we talked about things he did. Its been more than 7 days, we talk once a day but everytime we fight about that girl. He says he has lost me in these 6 months seeing jow angry i am. Inspite of this he wants me to stay, but je also be in touch with that girl. I don't like this.
There r days when he is very humble and sorry n the next day he is a manipulater and blames everything on me. I tried making things better by talking to him but i don't know where this is leading to....
Please help. This is affecting my mental, emotional health so much. I am not about to do even daily work of my own. I am mostly sleepless and in bad mood.
 

Relationships

Why life is getting harder when you genuinely trying to do good ?

Dear me-
I wish is to love myself the way I loved her.

- with all that I am.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts