I think I’m going to go on a break. Distance myself from everyone. You know what I mean? Just do things myself and do what I want. Stop caring about others. 

Mental Wellbeing

Anyone from Mumbai?

3am Thoughts

People will ki ll you over time, and how they'll ki ll you is with tiny harmless phrases like "be realistic"

I was sexually molested 2 times in my life years back , now i have recussimg dream of something similar happening to me by a person who was not at all related to it . I don't know what is this dream trying to signal me .

Am I the only one who loves eating ice so f much I eat 12 cubes a day or maybe more

Addiction

There is a constant  fear in my mind about what if something  happens to  mu parents  .... I am 22 dependent on  them for each and every thing in my life . The most painful  thing  one can ever experience in life is loosing a parent and one day each and everyone has to face this but Idk why my parents  are healthy my mom is a bit pessimistic when it comes to  this like we are 3 sister nobody  is earning  I am the elder one I am  struggling my stipend is 3k and I am still studying my other 2 sisters are pretty  much young  and I don't  mean financially  like I am so emotionally  dependent  on him I have no words to explain  .... but the mere thought  of loosing him shatters me I feel as if we would  never  be able to do anything and these thoughts  are constantly  racing  in my mind cause my mom told  us yesterday  about  the  intuition  of something  bad is going to  happen to  him and I can't  stop thinking  about it!! 

Anxiety

I really like one of my friends. We'll call him T.

Basically, we kissed a couple times about 3 years ago, but then we started dating other people. Time passed, he broke up with his ex, and about 5 months later I broke up with mine. 

He started chasing me a little bit, and we kissed a few more times, but i wasn't emotionally available since i was grieving my recently broken relationship. I think T realized that and stopped chasing me.

A few months later, when i was finally over my ex, i saw T at a friend's birthday, since we share the same friend group. I realized i liked him a lot. Shortly after that, i asked him to hang out and we ended up sleeping together for the first time. 

After that I was hoping he would text me and ask me to hang out again, but he didn't. I didn't text him either. But i assumed he didn't like me and nothing else would happen between us. We hung out a few times with the whole friend group and everything was fine, we basically pretended like nothing ever happened between us. But i never stopped liking him.

A few months later, we started talking via instagram and snapchat, but just like friends. One day we hung out with another friend, and i just felt something was different. T looked at me in a way he never did before. It was just a second, but i felt like time stopped. I thought maybe he did liked me.

One night we went out with the whole friend group, and he ended up walking me home. We talked and laughed a lot, he gave me his sweater and he hold my hand, which he never did before. We ended up sleeping together for the second time.

After that i was, once again, hoping he would text me and ask me to hang out, but he didn't. So about 2 weeks later, i told him that if he ever wanted to hang out with me he could just let me know. He told me he was busy with college but he would text me when he was free. He never did.

It's been almost two months since that. A few days ago i talked to one of my friends (which is also his friend) and told her about the whole situation. She told me T is really insecure and when someone (a girl) asks him to hang out he thinks that it's out of pity and that they don't really wanna see him. However i think i made myself very clear about wanting to see him. So I don't know if it's that or he just doesn't wanna see me. The thing is i thought that he didn't like me before, and i was clearly wrong. So I don't know what to do. I'm also a very shy and insecure person, so i don't know how to approach him without being annoying or looking desperate. But i really like him and wanna be with him (obviously i never told him that, and i don't think i'll ever will)

What do i do? do i ask him again to hang out? do i wait til he comes to me? do i straight up tell him i like him? do i move on cause "if he wanted to, he would"?

I really appreciate any advice, and thank you so much if you read the whole thing. Also i apologize if my english is bad, it's not my first language. Thanks again for reading my story, i hope at least you found it interesting. Have a good day <3











Crush

I wanna stop worrying about things I have no control. I want to feel hopeful again and start new. It’s hard but I am trying. I am glad I didn’t give up and survived till today. I can’t change everything over night but I can and I am going to work on myself every day.

Motivation

After dating me for 1.5 years, my ex (maybe still bf, we’re on a break) realised that he’s having cold feet about commitments and relationships. He said he used to love me but now he’s started to have doubts. He cares for me and liked me a lot but isn’t sure if it’s enough to try long distance in the future (we’ll have to go into long distance only after a year). He’s been thinking about this for a month but he still can’t decide anything, he’s not sure if he’s being stupid and making a mistake because apparently I’m “too good to be true and there’s nobody better than me”. I told him to take a few days off and think about it and so we’re on a break currently. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts