I think I might be a little obsessed with a dude 5 years younger than me and maybe under my league. He’s kinda addictive. My friends wouldn’t understand because he’s not exactly the… “dreamy” or “charismatic” type. He’s actually quite nerdy & socially awkward which I find adorable lol he’s very smart, hella funny and has a big heart. His affections are displayed a little differently, not in normal sentimental ways but he loves hard and is a big soft boi lol He’s also the “little bro” of the group, 19 & I’m 24. It would hurt to be mocked as a cougar especially for someone that young…I feel ashamed 😣 but I can’t control how my heart responds to him so I’ve been avoiding him lately to let the flames die out.
He told me he had feelings nearly 2 years ago but I didn’t see him that way then. this year I was forced to face the cold truth (I repeatedly denied for months) that I caught feelings for him a year later. But he’s made it clear he moved on already anyway so I see no point in admitting to it now. Sometimes I think…I want to wait for him. But other days I think…we probably wouldn’t work out anyway. Lately I’ve been focusing more on the ladder and keeping distance, while difficult, is something I think to be beneficial in the long run. Plus, I’m pretty convinced his heart has returned to the girl crushed on before me. She’s never been interested but he always goes back to her so 🤷🏾♀️ I’m not gonna fight that. Of all my guy friends, including those older than him AND me, I’ve never felt…as safe & comfortable to share deep chunks of my heart with any of my male friends the way I felt with him.
In some ways he’s mature for his age. I’m aware I romanticize those parts of him to ignore the parts lacking growth. We’re on two different planes mentally and I know I could never tell our friends because they’ll think somethings wrong with me lol they wouldn’t understand. It’s not like I want to like him and if I could remove these feelings manually I would. But idk how to stop them and I’ve been sitting on this for almost a year. it’s eating at me something terrible 😔
There’s a little more to this but…a lot to explain
YOU MY FRIEND HAVE WRITTEN OUT EXACTLY WHAT HAD BEEN IN MY HEART, SUPPRESSED FOR LIKE A YEAR NOW MAYBE!!!
I relate to you so bad and its so tough na not being able to reciprocate even though the other person might have feelings for you?! 😫
I had a difference of 4yrs, I wont say the age else I would sound like a pedo, but trust me he was so mature for his age, even more so than guys my age maybe. The kindest guy even. We used to talk A Lot!!! Idk what happened though suddenly, he stopped responding much. I didnt ask him either. Maybe that was needed. The space. The time to understand if it was love or just infatuation.
Just give some time and stay away from him bro. If u can lead a normal life then forget about him, else confront him 🤷🏻♀️
I appreciate you so much for showing me I’m not alone 😭😭😭 trulyyy. Yeah he and I used to talk damn near everyday. That switched to only talking in group chats and now I’ve left those. It just hurts so much to talk to him and only feeds my anger and jealousy towards the female friends that do have a good relationship with him. So I’m like…let me just…✌🏾 I don’t think it’ll be like that forever though. At least I hope not. But like you said, I just need to give it time and see what happens. But honestly if I can rid of them and just have my friend back, I’d take that easily
There’s no good that’s gonna come out of jealousy my friend, but ai know those are not conscious feelings. Tbh I started distracting myself by talking to other guys but u know what? Till this day I miss him😭 and I guess your post really got through to me, so I texted him a few mins back and he hasn’t replied yet, but I’m gonna tell him that I miss talking to him u know. Not that he should EVERRR find out my feelings for him coz thats how sacred I want the bond to be.
Say what, like after 1-2 months ask him casually what he’s upto, if he moved on, u can do that too. You deserve the best girl.
Update:- so after I texted him he was kinda off and replied in short one-liners and emojis. It took me asking him 3-4times if he was doing fine and then he finally opened up u know. He is actually going through a tough phase and had distanced himself from everyone. But he talked to me like old times because I showed him I care!!! Its so good to talk to the old him bro😭 I missed him so much. I hope your case gets sorted soon too!
That’s sounds so genuine
