i think i genuinely need help. but i don’t know whom to reach out to, i don’t know what to say. i feel like i’m wasting my life away.

i don’t want to live like this anymore, constantly tortured, anxious, fearing something lurking at every corner.

what do i do? how do i be better? 


what is exactly the problem ? why you are feeling so ? is something happened in recent past or its becoz of a trauma ?

Start ignoring things which makes you think that  

Anxiety

i want to scream

Mental Health

GUYS !

you know whattt !!

Its not about the place you're in... 
It's not about people you're with...

Its all about how you behave yourself with yourself. 



Mental Wellbeing

Alot of things going on in my mind. Feeling restless. 

Stress

I want to go away from here......I'm not happy

Gratitude

I'm so fucking tired of living! I want to end it here and now! Will I have any regrets? Well only for words that I didn't said and for those times I wanted to scream but didn't... I don't have any purpose here, some of y'all can tell me that I will be happy or day or another bullshit but hey we both know that miracles aren't really promised. Why am I living? well I'm still here because I'm hoping... hoping that one day someone won't only tell me that I need to stay but I want them to come and pick me up from this hell so that I can finally live.. I MEAN REALLY FUCKING LIVING NOT ONLY EXISTING! I hate people.. why? because they can't shut the FUCK UP, they keep talking for what? what do they breathe?! I can't even hear my mom breathe since she traumatized me. Like seriously I AM SO FED UP WITH ALL THIS BULLSHIT AND THOSE STANDING SHIT THAT WE ALL CALL PEOPLE. What about the society? this word means nothing, people always want to categorize everything, people always want to control, they want power but no one will ever just shut their ass and lay their stupid ass ANYWHERE and simply take a breath. You are afraid of judgment? well so am I but no one cares, you can live in peace either way people don't give a fuck at all, you can also die as well people will only care to give a reaction but at the end of the end their life will keep going without you and the memories they had with you will slowly disappear when they will turn their back to return to their monotonous life.

Suicidal Ideation

I am feeling tons of emotion or atleast a ton of emotion.It's not like I am an introvert,I generally talk a lot lot but last year I started a new phase in life graduated high school,I guess mentally I was prepared for it  but then the pandemic hit, and everything got locked down.Intially I was happy that I would save time by staying home ,I dont have do anything and would enjoy life but as time passed I cut myself out from rest of the world and slowly I felt alone,I found joy in my laptop screen enjoying movies non-stop like an addict,mind you I as a person did not change much,still did the routine things but from inside I knew I was messed up.Now each day feels like a struggle,everday I try to thrive till the end,Somewhere I question myself everday what was inside that helped me survived the external world,but also made it easy,I want that skill,thing,motivation Idk that thing with me again to fight my inner demons.Each day I had to study tons of book,attend classes ,meet targets but I dont feel like doing anything I mean I like what I study butI feel somewhere deep inside my inner happiness has just died,I am slowly connecting to old world getting back to friends but I realise something has changed inside me I mean ,Once I used to speak not realising other was listening or not but now I can see we live in a messed up world where everyone is interested in sharing the stories but not listening others , We might be able to show the world how strong we are outside but deep inside we all are vulnerable , some of us might disagree but they are too scared to even face their inner demons ,we try to avoid them by engaging our mind but believe me someday we have to face it and the latter it is harder it gets...
I dont know its a good thing or bad but somewhere the optisim has diluted in me,Now I can see people weakness.Sometimes I feel it so silly in long period of time and at others I feel I wouldn't even make it through the next second.

DO you feel this too?

I guess we are stuck in a limbo going in a loop of problems.

Mood Disorder

Okay so I just feel like renting out.. nowdays people have been telling me to “Hyper down” or “stop being so enthusiastic on everything” or “can you just stop being so innocent and annoying?” and stuff like that… I mean before lockdown I was basically in simple terms a lone wolf, a bookworm, I never expressed my feeling and always stayed cacooned in my shell. Then due to certain events I realised that I need to “open up”, and start expressing myself and my feelings.But now if I do then I’m termed as a “hyper kid” or “the emotional girl” and other various names. So what? Am I supposed to go back to my cocoon now? Stop expressing myself? Turn back to the girl who was too scared to talk to her own classmates who she has know for like6-7 years?? Cause little by little that’s what others are forcing me to be…

3am Thoughts

Anyone else constantly battle with OCD and intrusive thoughts ? I could use someone to talk to 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts