I think I am still holding onto my parents. Expecting and hoping that someday may be they would understand me and love me for real and come back to me and will really be there for me. I think I am still hoping and expecting. I say I don’t need them, I hate them, and they say that they love me, it’s just me who can’t see it, but I think in reality, I am the one who needs them and they are the ones who don’t need me.
I had some problem w moving in to new place yesterday, so I reached out to them, and they denied to help me and made fun of me and left with a lot of taunts and harsh judgements like I need some kind of fix, I am the problem. Okay tbh I don’t feel anything tho, just numb. I grew up hearing everyday that I am burden and that they don’t want me, at first I was extremely hurt, that was my first actual heartbreak tbh, and now I am just habituated and used to it and I don’t even live w them. But I still keep hoping that one day they will see me for who I am and love me. I am holding onto them. I want to forgive and let go of them. And never come back and leave finally(emotionally,physically and mentally), But how?
It’s not going to be easy…u can’t just let go off you parents … but yes you can keep loving them without any expectation…it is what hurts more…surely you will come out stronger out of this…I can say only this much
