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Deepika @ananymocosmo

[I talked about this already but wanted to speak up again]
Since childhood, I had a feeling that I wished I’d been born a girl instead of a boy and these feelings grew and still growing on me.
I never told anyone and kept this with myself.
When I was a child…I’d only think about long hair and how amazing it would be to have a long braid like fellow girls…
Later on, I’d dreamt about having a woman’s body…
Later on, I started a little cross-dressing and I chose my name for the girl inside me…Deepika…
It’s not exactly the way I’m saying…the feelings are not consistent and always on…
I had a good time and feel comfortable too as a boy…I have many friends who are mostly boys…I always liked girls and still do…so in one way I’m just a normal boy…
But with more desires that don’t fit my reality…which are related to becoming a woman if possible.
I’m 20 now…and still have all the desires that grew on me till now…
and recently I was thinking of fantasizing about being a woman while having sex…
previously… I’d just fantasize about my crush or some girl…and I’m the man there…
but nowadays I want to be the woman here and I’d imagine some faceless dude or some handsome guy from a tv show or something…

and I feel like am I going crazy or am I pushing myself too much on this ‘becoming a woman’ thing?
Can I help it or can’? Idk…
The fact that I can fantasize about a man makes me feel weird about myself…tbh I’m only fantasizing because I needed to feel like a woman and thinking about a man in an act of sex felt obvious…but still If I could go on with that fantasy and still feel happy about it after finishing it…
Am I gay now?

It’s not like I’m repelling the label gay…I just wanted to know …I’m curious about myself.

I know I need to speak with a professional…but I came here for an honest opinion on my story…even if it’s negative.
So, please drop a comment if you feel like it.
Thanks for reading,

Profile picture for Now&Me member @ananymocosmo
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