Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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Anonymous

I started my college days unfortunately, it is not a good start for me because of this pandemic, we had to do our classes online leading me to be unable to grasp most of the lessons. So I tried joining a training program to provide the basics of my course, it was fun as I managed to understand the lessons during the training but it is also devastating since I cannot really understand the lessons on my course. As my training has ended, I resume focusing on my online subjects but no matter what I do. I really can not understand so I started losing interest in the subjects but I always felt guilty. So I tried to focus but the same thing happened since it is already out of my interest, as they say, if you are not interested in doing things you will not learn unless you wholeheartedly do that thing. For that reason, I tried to do my other hobbies but I slowly lost interest in doing those things one by one, I also had a problem with my appetite. I tried to eat regularly but I felt repulsed. I tried eating more when I skipped my meals but I myself says I can’t. Sometimes I forced myself to eat more and that started when I always looked for sweets to fill in my stomach and that got my satisfaction. In some other times, I had trouble sleeping and sometimes I overslept, so I am trying to be awake in time but this has caused me a headache and sometimes dizziness in the morning. Honestly, I am always on the phone looking for what interests me that causes me irritation in simple things, mood changes, and sometimes a sudden increase of heartbeat and heavy breathing. Basically, I just experience this on my period but I am not on my period. I hate this feeling of mine and this led me to self-isolation. I am an introverted person and I know that, It is not that I do not know how to socialize with other people but it is just that I like being alone.

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