I sometimes act like I don’t care, but I actually care. I act like I wasn’t hurt, but I am hurt. I easily share my thoughts, but sometimes I can’t. Sometimes, I feel really sad and worthless, but sometimes I do not feel it, I can’t feel anything. I tried forgetting and escaping my reality by imagining and daydreaming but I’m always failing. I want to please everyone, but sometimes I don’t want to. What is this?
This resonates with me so much. I feel I’ve written this. I easily share my thoughts but sometimes I can’t. Maybe this is just being human? Maybe it’s just us overthinking things when we shouldn’t and let our hearts do what it wants to…?
Hey, I may not know exactly how you feel or the exact position you are in right now, but know that I do share some of your feelings. And saying that, I want you to know, first and foremost, that you’re not alone. Even if alone is the only thing that seems real and consistent right now. I know the feeling, something that even if I had all the words in the world I wouldn’t be able to express verbally.
It’s cliché of me to say that this in escapable cloud hanging over everything isn’t everything and isn’t forever, but I say it because it is true. What you can do, and this may be the hardest thing of all to do, is trust. Trust that things will start looking up. Trust that life is better, more colourful than it seems sometimes. Trust that someday, sometime, somehow, you’ll feel differently one day. Trust that you’re strong. Because you are.
You are your rock. I know it’s a really simple sentence, but sometimes, this just resonates with me. No one, and I mean, no one, can shake you; you alone can truly feel your worth. You have an iron-core, believe me, tougher than you think. And that part of you is what will allow you to feel bad a lot of times, but also bounce back from it. It’ll allow you to recognise that things do seem bleak, and the world seems too far gone to save, but that also there are pockets here and there that make life, for lack of a less cheesy word, beautiful.
Stay strong, hang in there buddy.
I used to feel the same most of the time. May be you have been hurt by someone in the past to get to this point of self doubt. May be you got ignored or were misunderstood while you were expressing yourself so now you feel that talking to anyone is pointless.
I went through a tough phase of my life and felt like nobody cared. Nobody wants to hear me out. I isolated myself because I had started hating my friends for not being able to fix me.
Then it occurred to me that they are all humans and may be facing something similar and how many times was I able to detect that. I started retrospecting why it is important for me that others validate me. Why do I need someone else to tell me I am good to feel good about myself? Watching some youtube videos on understanding my thoughts helped a lot.
I don’t know know what you have gone through boo to feel this way.
Noticed the words " I want to please everyone but sometimes I don’t want to".
Seems like you evaluate your self worth when you are socializing and have people around you. That makes you happy. Not a bad thing we are social animals.
But there is a small trap there. Because every time you want to feel good about yourself, you will need validation from other people. Trust me, the only person you want to please right now is the one you see in the mirror.
Social media has messed us all up into seeking validation from others.
Start out small. Write down who you are, what do you like, what is your passion. Try to catch up on your hobbies. Things that give you a sense of fulfillment. There are videos on youtube that teach you how you can master on being by your own.
It is a whole new level of empowerment when you realize that you can actually be happy on your own. Imagine nobody will be able to make you upset or overthink over something. You’ll be cool with everyone as you won’t be bothered by who comes or goes from your life.
I agree with the person who said in the comment, you do have an iron core.
Think about it. Hope it helps. This is great platform to talk so we all are around buddy. 😀