I recently moved in with my bf bc my mother was ruining me. I have suspicions that he’s cheating. I’ve caught him messaging other girls so I don’t think this for no reason. My bf was taking care of him and I until I got on my feet bc of how bad my mental health is. His brother found out and is mad bc I wasn’t paying rent. My bf pretty much told me I had a week to get a job. I found one but it isn’t consistent at all. My bf’s brother is very open with the fact that he does not like me. These four walls are driving me insane. All my bf does is play the game if he isn’t working. Im just tired. I never wanted things to be this way the ONLY thing I ever wanted was a stable mother who wasn’t constantly making me feel unworthy. Im so tired. My heart hurts…Thats all…
+ I cant discuss these things with my bf bc he’ll say “I’m sorry I don’t make you happy” or “I’m sorry I’m not good enough” and then I just feel worse.
Okay lets look at this one thing at a time,
You issue with your mother seems more of a priority cause unless you figure that out you’d always be depending on someone outside of the family and that gives people strength to put you down whenever they want,
2nd… just because he’s msgng a girl doesn’t mean he’s cheating on you… but if you have any substantial proofs of it i guess it’s time to confront him…
3rd… you are not paying rent for now its understandable, but I’m sure if you’re not working there are other expenses too and that’s also falling on him to cover up, believe it or not that pressure makes people do stupidest and angriest of things cus in my experience guys generally don’t like asking for help
4th… your mental health is of the utmost importance, for that you need external help, consult someone, speak to people who can hear you out, i can suggest a couple of life coaches that would be happy to help
5th… you live with him… i guess you have the right to be given a proper answer/justification/reassurance that things between you and him are still nice and safe… if he’s choosing not to give you that answer i think you should prioritise your mental health and move past this relationship cus in the long run it would only get terribly toxic…
Also… your relationship length might help us understand your situation better but i really hope you get over this phase of your life and come out stronger🙂
1. I dont plan on depending on people forever this was supposed to be for a few months.
2.Not only has he messaged her, its his ex, he called her “my love” and was lying to both of us
3. HE told ME that’s how he wanted the financial things to be. I don’t have an issue with getting a job its the way that he went about it!
4. I am working on my mental health on my own terms and I do have external help
5. I have been in this relationship for 4+ years. It not that easy.
Hey i hope you didn’t think that I’m judging you on any of this…
I’m just an outsider with absolutely no intentions to hurt you or your relationship…
Lemme tell you a little story, i was once in a relationship with someone and i was constantly cheated on disrespected, and i was managing the entire house where I’d go to work after cooking dinner, i was working night shifts then, when i would come home the next day I’d always find the food uneaten and lying open in the fridge and I’d have to throw it in the end, i honestly lost my shit everyday, i was still in the relationship cause i knew i could never love someone that way, but then things ended eventually cus yet again i was cheated on, and then after the break up, the person got in touch with me again and while we were trying to fix things i was being lied to again, infact i got to know that the person was living with someone of the opposite gender while they are trying to fix things with me and they were sleeping together everyday, i can’t tell you how it ended for after this without sweating and shivering even right but i can tell you one thing…
I was in a far worse situation and i came back from that… all it took was realising that there’s a point of breaking down that i had crossed, i couldn’t possibly break down further from that point and then i just walked away… everyday i missed that person, everyday it hurt, but then i knew it was supposed to hurt but then it atleast was just pain there was still respect in my life, i could walk around with my head held high even if i walked alone everyday
And please i do apologise if anything i say makes you feel bad… please know that is the last thing I’d ever want to do 🙂❤️
