I recently broke up with my boyfriend. While we knew each other for last two years (as close friends), it was only recently I met him for offline.
The moment we met, we got into a relationship. I always felt I am not worthy of a proper love story and my insecurities got better of me.
He asked me for some space as he was dealing with some personal crisis and health issues. But keeping me in dark for weeks, checking my msgs and not replying, especially at a time when I was struggling and it felt like my lifeline is gone. He was a guide to me and i couldn’t do well without having him around.
I fell down into a spiral of emotional breakdowns and overthinking that made me question his love. (Also sent a long message blaming myself and partially blaming him too).
That hurt him and he cut off all communication with me without even a word. Recently he gave me a closure when I begged him to answer what’s going on. It hurt him that I lost trust in him and his love and since I always end up having this insecurities, mental breakdowns, he didn’t want to get bogged down by my mental health.
I know am at fault. This is second relationship I am losing because of my mistakes and I try real hard to change myself.
I also know I hurt him badly. He changed my attitude towards men and proved me there are nice, decent and gentlemen out there.
Now I don’t know what to make of this. How to rectify myself. My relationship is over, he is gone.
I am left with my mind that’s always anxious, chaotic and broken. I don’t want to be like this. I wish I knew what to do.
I hate myself so much that I became that clingy girlfriend who couldn’t give her bf some space. Being the other side of the toxic spectrum hurts so bad! I was the toxic one here and I can’t seen to handle it.
Dont worry, we are all humans and we make mistakes. But we should make sure that we learn from them and not repeat them. I think you should take to him and tell him that you have realised things, and try a fresh start maybe?
Also I somewhere feel that you guys are not for each other, you people surely have different expectations. You guys can only work if both of you are willing to. I can see that you are willing to, but is he? Like I know he has issues and everything but he cant just go away like that, he has to understand you too. If he cant have a convo then atleast he can talk for 15 mins a day?
Also try asking him ki till when he will be like this? (incase you talk to him)
Otherwise, forgive yourself and move on! Jo hua woh hua, work on your self and lets look forward to what life has for you. :))
He had cut off all communication with me after I had questioned him. To the point it broke me and I sent him a big msg.
After which radio silence again. Couple of days ago I couldn’t stay without having answers so I texted him repeatedly to which he sent a firm msg that he had decided to let go of me.
No matter how many times I would try to get in touch with me, he told me he wouldn’t ever reply. That’s how strong he is of all decisions he takes.
What hurts is, this decision wasn’t his alone to make. That hurts.
You are right, we aren’t meant to be. I just don’t know how to change myself. He was like a hope I held on to, to make myself better. He knew every flaw, every pain and everything that went in my head! If he, who knew everything didn’t want me, who else would?
And how do I make myself better is the biggest question
Why do you have to change yourself? You should be you and someone who loves you, you will be a priority for him. Rn you are feeling this but trust me, there are more people out there.
He knew everything about you and still didnt want you, the answer is clear here that you should stop looking out to/for him. Someone who will know everything and will still choose to stay will be the one. And just give yourself time right now.
And only you can make yourself better, for future, make sure you dont repeat the things which arent good for you. Being clingy is fine but as we grow up, we will have to learn to respect other person’s space. Although space doesnt mean that the person doesnt even reply for days.
It was his fault too and you guys are not compatible.
Thank you so much for this! I really needed to hear this from someone :)
Yes I will work on to be better of version of myself and will still be who I am!
Thanks again
Look, its okay.
Okay? Everybody is fighting unknown battles. Everybody have their own insecurities. Now this person in your life, he was just meant to be there for a certain time only. He was just there to teach you something, to share some moments with you. Thats all. He left cause he had to go. And don’t ever knock on the door where you are uninvited. What he failed to see was, inspite of your insecurities and fears, you were willing to do anything for him and you didnt hold back even a lil bit of your love. And thats okay too if he didnt see.
But you should know, that you went beyond your means and you did try very hard.
Eh, ukw, its okay to have insecurities, its okay to seek reassurance when needed, its okay to be clingy, its okay to expect some warmth and love, it is okay.
It surely would have hurt him when you told him that you lost trust on his love and him, when all he was tryna do was to love you and build trust, esp because he never hurt you or break your trust in any way.
Like i said, its okay to have insecurities, but its not okay to hurt someone cause of it. Just forgive yourself and i hope you apologised. Just learn from this and grow.
Its gonna be okay.
Make it up to him by working on yourself. But don’t run behind him or do anything stupid.
He was a beautiful part of your life. Just embrace that. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
Stay strong:)
Sending you love❤️❤️
