I really want to talk to people who have been dealing with health anxiety. If you are there , and if you have the mental capacity to hear me out, please let me know . 

3am Thoughts

Do you ever just feel so lonely as if you have no one who cares for you 
No one loves you 
No one gives a damn about you 
Even your crush doesn’t know you exist 
And no one has ever been attracted to you 
You feel like literal shit and no one is there to hear all your sorrows 

It comes all of a sudden...what ever work i am doing...either reading book working on laptop or trying to sleeping...while walking eating watching some movie lo listen some music... everything...i get distracted to Shani immediately...what ever i want to do...my mind says like if sot like this shani...if walk like this shani...i don't getup from bed shani or if sleep shani if i eat thi shani if i read this shani or if i dont read that shani... every moment every minute every second for every thing.... i am getting shani shani shani... if i want to ignore...i will get a thought like i am scolding words as fuck off, get lost etc... immediately i will realize and slap on my face, banging my head to that wall for some number of times and i won't be satisfied with that number i do it repeatedly...like i want slap 11 times...on the 11th count i get the doubt like how many time i slapped...so again i start over... since i made a mistake i do it 3 times...means 3x11 times i slap...if i get distracted during that i do 3 x3x 11 time i slap or i bang my head...this is what i am doing...

Mental Illness

Any one to chat 

Adulting

I'm not a person who likes the concept of dating.. I use to feel ki you'll find someone, from ur life, and things will happen, and when u get to know each other, and stuffs and bla bla shit..

But wait, I was totally wrong? 
There's this cousin of me who's getting married, and I asked how he's feeling and stuffs.. He told me ki Ladki thk hai, mtlb as such issue nhi hai.. Lekin he regrets why didn't he dated anyone? Like agr aap ko dating ka concept psnd nhi hai, ultimately ur family will do that for you.. Woh ek ko dhundenge, sort of match krenge, and stuffs.. Toh q na m khud hi phle yeh krlu. 
I don't like the concept of Dating. Why? 
Q ki ese thodi na hota hai.. Schedule ki, mile jaane, aur bass relationship.. I was much more like Filmy, koi hoga, firr milenge, jaanenge, aur jaanenge, aur firr shyd feel hoga.. Who knows? Ese dating krke force thodi na kr skte hai... 
But ab mere andar tk k taar hi gye ki, wait agr agle 4-5 saal m esa nhi hua, toh jabardasti mere ghar waale meri dating krayenge, na choice hogi jyda, na smjhne ka time, tb kaha jayenge yeh khyaali pulaav? 
Isliye better h abhi se date pr jao, logo se milo, smjho, jaano, atleast proper time hoga aur choice bhi. 

Aur if guys thinking ki uske baad ghr waalo ko bhi manana pdta hai, toh woh sb  manage ho jayega, uska itna load nhi h. 
Important h koi ho. 

What do you guys think about it? Please lemme know. Please tell me if u ever went to any date, cz I didn't. I rejected a few times, just because of my mentality. 

Depressed... Life has been tough lately. Mostly confused. At times, everything feels like a burden.. Even doing things that I like to do feels like a huge task now.. Is this normal..?

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts