i really want to die now ....... but i want to die in my sleep so i will not feel a thing but i do't know why??!?!😩

i fucking hate my sister she doesn't own up with her mistakes BITCH and i hate fighting so i always end it by saying "Fine its my fault" 

Anger Issues

see maybe u'll think i'm a weird or mad but see....
my bday is coming in few days honestly i've always hated my bday. coz i always wished ki bhai kisi ne mera bday karna chahiye aise ballons and all se decoration karke cake vgrae leke aise surprise party. kyuki see i love celebrating others bday. maine dil phek ke mom dad ka didi ke bday kiye apni besti ka bday kiya online frnds ko bhi unke bday pe gifts send kiye. say just a cancerian trait. but return mein kabhi kuch nhi mila. not that i expected. but hotay na kabhi kabhi maan kartay na ki apne liye bhi koi kuch kare. every year i use to expect ki bhai iss saal koi nhi atleast family toh kuch surprise degi chalo gifts he sahi party nhi. but always ended up hurting my self i remeber last year i was honestly so broke that sala commuting ka bhi paisa nhi tha [why coz uske previous month mein dad ke bday pe miane sab savings udd di thi ]  mom knew this miane usko bola ki mom cake leke aaye imagine the feeling ki bhai apne he bday pe apne mom se request karna kibhai mere liye ek cake he laa de. usne last momnet pe bass isliye cake laya kyuki didi aur jiju aane wale the toh unko dikhane ke liye ki bhai haan humne kiya. fk nhi laate toh aur accha lagta yrr.  [1/2]  

3am Thoughts

🥲hilo kese hai aplog?

Friends

I love a Girl since 13 Years, she knows it, but doesn't care.
Between those years 2 Girls came and Go.
Still the feeling for my 1st girl isn't dying from my Heart, 
I don't know how to handle myself.
My heart burns looking her with her new boyfriend. 

Depression

Is it normal that I cry myself to sleep every night? 

hey guys .... there’s this guy that I met in high school he was supposed to graduate last year of 2019 but I graduated on my right time 2020 but we met through mural friends the thing is he still didn’t graduate he only has 2 credits left and he keeps giving up you know The thing is I went the hella shit in my life that I can’t bear the Painess the thing it’s my first first ever relationship I ive ever had I trust him.  the thing is a lot of people prayed and prayed for my downfall even my own family I have no brother or sisters it just me .. I know your saying wow your lucky you don’t got siblings but it isn’t that I have a MAJOR MAJOR trust issue and I somehow trusted this man the thing is I want both of us to become successful in life so people can say “oh look she actually did that” “look at her and her husband that’s goals right there “ don’t want to be greedy but he doesn’t want to go to college but at the same time he does but in that moment he works at home care job, security jobs but get this he’s the only person who’s providing for his family and I get that I know where he’s coming from . But I want him to go to college and be successful in a way that he doesn’t have to work part times and be stressed about 9-5 jobs . I always brag about him become something useful lets both be something together but he just doesn’t have the right mindset as I do . I don’t want to sound like a mean person and say “you not successful I don’t want you “ I actually love him and I just want him to know I will still not leave him but there something that bothers me it’s how he doesn’t see his future and I want it to be same as mine ..: I really don’t know how to explain . It’s actually really hard for me tell me if I’m making the right choice with him. 

Relationships

Was happy... 
My thoughts were clear and filled with colours but in a second i just felt like ending everything and stopped breathing. 

When you really need to talk to someone do you:

Feeling stuck in my search for a job, any advice on how to come out of this rut? 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts