Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I really need some advice because this has been gnawing at me for a couple years now. So, I am really lucky and grateful that my family is financially stable and I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I live with my parents and I am not an adult yet. About 3 years ago, one of my parents got a job transfer and we had to move. We moved in with family, so there’s my grandparents, aunt and uncle and their two kids and we live with them. Growing up, I was a very naive child and I didn’t really have a personality, if that makes sense. When we moved, I joined a new school, made new friends and I was generally please with my life outside of home. I really am not sure about this, but I believe that my family is kind of toxic. The reason I say this is because I feel very stifled, like I’m living in a prison. My family is sexist, misogynistic, racist and nothing I say is going to change that stupid mentality. I have been body shamed by my family on multiple occasions. My mom literally has a nickname for me that means something along the lines of ‘fatso’ and that’s what she addresses me with all the time. My parents have a problem with my friends, like they want to control who I befriend, they’re not cool with me dating someone, and they just keep prying into my life. I have no privacy. I had a diary once, and my mom tried to read it on multiple occasions. I have to literally beg to them to let me meet my friends outside school about once every 3-4 months. My grandfather is very, very sexist and has a problem with everything I do, and nobody in my family stands up to him even when he’s wrong because then he starts throwing temper tantrums and storms off from the dining table. I tried to start working out last year, and people in my family have laughed at me while I was doing it. I am almost 16 and i don’t have a phone. Both my parents work so I don’t have a lot of access to theirs and my mom reads my chats with my friends so I have no way of speaking with them in the pandemic. I made secret social media accounts so I could communicate with people and have some privacy. About a year and a half ago, I was in a really bad place mentally, I was suicidal, and my family was a very, very big reason behind that. My mental health is so bad because of them. My self esteem is low because of the body shaming. Online tests tell me that my parents are toxic and emotionally and mentally abusive and that I might be chronically depressed. I know you’re not supposed to trust the internet so I decided to ask for advice anonymously from real people. I don’t know what to do and it just makes me feel so sad and I cry about it. I would run away but I have no way of supporting myself and I don’t want to leave my kid sister alone in this house even though she has very good relationships with the family. I am in a bad place mentally, and I have been for a couple years now. So please, if anybody has any advice for me I’d appreciate it so, so much. Thanks for reading this and I hope you have a good day :).