Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I rarely talked a girl in my 20 years of life.the reason is not good at study and now am studying art.but the reason of this post is I have so less friends in my cirlcle like 2 and 3…

My childhood was fcked.i never got the love of my parents,eventually my grandfather passed away previous year.i don’t know but from class 12th I just notice that most of my friends have gf and etc…and another side me who don’t have the courage to talk with girls,because someone just deny to shake hands to me straight on my face…while I just asked for a normal handshake(this was the context).after that day I got self doubt on myself,and day by day I failed 12th and lockmyself for 6months depressed.hoping for someone to understand my pain,but there was no one.my dad gave me motivation that everythings gonna be alright,and finally got pass after a year…and still hoping for some love from someone.sometimes I feel frustrated and feel envy from others skill…and trying to improve myself…and then I see there is no one…i don’t have the motivation to do anything now… got no motive to do something.when I see others enjoying with there friends…girl-friends…i felt sad and low questioning myself…why am like this…friends call me obsession,and it might be right…i think it is!!it’s like demanding love from someone.