I push people away because I don’t know how to do “emotions”. I have feelings obviously but I’m just somehow uncomfortable showing it. It’s like biting the bullet. And it’s funny because I say that I am comfortable this way, which trust me I am. But at times I just feel very lonely because I’m just so scared you know? I have friends who are extremely loving, and they make me want to be like that as well. But the moment I give it a shot, I freak out and it feels very suffocating.
It is very important to feel your feelings and then let them out. I am glad you took the first time, realised this and posted this story here. If you were able to do this, i am sure in no time you will be able to do so in real life as well. Best of luck :)
I cannot even tell you how much I relate to this post… It’s freaky how you’re going through EXACTLY what I am. Let me know here if you find any answers to how to deal with this