I often feel like my mom is trying to get me to be a copy of herself. She wants me to be interested on the stuff she likes, to go down the same career path and even to dress like her. I go along with it most of the time cause i’m scared of disappointing her but we are not alike at all and tbh I feel like she doesn’t even know me, actually no, I think she just acts like she doesn’t because she wants to mold me into this perfect replica of herself. For my birthday and events like that she always gets me stuff she knows i don’t like, stuff that looks like everything she owns. I can’t see the disappointment in her face everything i act like myself instead of how she wishes i would. We are very different almost complete opposite’s and i just wish she’d accept that. it’s my life i don’t want to live it for her.She already had her chance.
It is hard to deal with parents cuz they think it is better to let them choose us for us instead of us trying to pick cuz they don’t want us to fail or get hurt cuz of our choices. But what they don’t understand is we are our controllers of our life and we would rather want to fail and keep trying rather than chained to their perspectives. It’s not good parenting at all no offense. You should seriously consider letting her and ur father about this and how it is affecting you. And if you think that doesn’t work, then you shud ask yourself is ur life worth this pain?
I can’t tell her, I don’t want her to get hurt or feel offended if i call her out, and i’m constantly afraid that if i stand up for myself they’ll think i’m a bad person. I know i’m not doing anything wrong, my mom at my age used to do all sort of crazy things my grandma told me about, she’ll never listen to her parents and constantly disrespected them yet they always supported her and fought for her to be successful while I’ve done nothing wrong, i’ve never disobeyed her, Ive always been a good person who did everything her parents wanted her to, i can’t even think about the worst thing i’ve ever done, my grandparents even recognize it and have told my mom she should be grateful to have a daughter like me, i even got into her dream college to study what she did yet i’m always made to feel selfish and i really don’t want them to think that. I love my parents, family is the most important thing to me and that’s why i’ve always done what they told me to cuz i can’t handle losing them and i crave validation and words of affirmation all of the time. I know it’s not good for me but i can’t help it. Anyway thank you much for your advice and your words it means a lot that you took the time to answer 💕 I am working on myself so one day i can hopefully confront them about it but surely not today 😅
Just understand that your future kids will suffer if you keep getting exposed to this kinda forcing. Trust me it wil affect you a lot more. U r such a nice person but understand even goodness has a limit
I know and you’re right. i’ll try my best to work on myself until it gets easier for me to speak up and do what’s right for me. Again, thank you so much for your comprehension <3