I often feel like my mom is trying to get me to be a copy of herself. She wants me to be interested on the stuff she likes, to go down the same career path and even to dress like her. I go along with it most of the time cause i’m scared of disappointing her but we are not alike at all and tbh I feel like she doesn’t even know me, actually no, I think she just acts like she doesn’t because she wants to mold me into this perfect replica of herself. For my birthday and events like that she always gets me stuff she knows i don’t like, stuff that looks like everything she owns. I can’t see the disappointment in her face everything i act like myself instead of how she wishes i would. We are very different almost complete opposite’s and i just wish she’d accept that. it’s my life i don’t want to live it for her.She already had her chance.
Shivay @shivay2595
Heyyy.
I’m so sorry that you have to go through all this alone.
But some parents are like that. They want their kids to be their exact replica. They don’t understand that their kid has their own personality and individuality.
They just keep on dominating their kids to no ends.
They are like, we will put all the burden of our failures and missed opportunities on our kids.
I know it’s frustrating. But you have to start saying no to your mom.
You are not your mom. She matters yes. Her decisions matters yes. But only on most important things.
These day to day things doesn’t require your mom. To be so involved.
So try and say no to her. Wear all you want. Go out with whomever you want.
It’s your life. And the steering should be in your hands.
you’re right. I need to start standing up for myself however i hate disappointing people so much that i’d call it my biggest fear in life, i can deal with anything on my own, the only thing that worries me is how it will affect others around me. There was one point where i decided to start acting more like myself even if she was against it but i had to stop cuz i was getting hurt constantly, I couldn’t stand the way she’d stare at me, i knew i was letting her down. So I went back to just doing what she says because it felt easier but i know deep down it’s not the right thing at all. Thank you for listening and taking your time to write this, I really appreciate it. Your words mean a lot to me🤍
Shivay @shivay2595
I know how you feel because I was also just like that. I was always afraid that others will get hurt or be disappointed with me if I didn’t do what they wanted. And that almost ruined my whole life. But since the time I stood up for myself. There change in me.
And I wish you could bring about the same changes in you. You don’t have to disappoint your mom in your life. But at the same time you can’t let her rule your life.
I know she’s your mom and she’ll always be the most important person for yoh and I respect that way too much.
You talk to her. Make her understand that what all she’s doing is hurting you. You are suffocating. And its not healthy behaviour of hers what’s she’s been doing. You take your time. Start slowly by taking small small steps. There is no hurry. Because these things takes time are to be dealt with patience.
Just keep on believing in yourself and loving yourself.
All the more power, love and peace to you ✨✨.
And always remember you are never ever alone.
We all here with you.
I’m here with you. Always 🫂
thank you so much, truly 😭
You’re so kind for taking the time to say all of these things and it feels good to know someone gets me. I don’t know if i can do it but i’ll keep trying and hoping one day it gets easier, your words actually made me feel better and i’ll remember what you’ve told me. Thank you ❤️🩹
Shivay @shivay2595
And you’ll never ever have to say thanks to me. Just keep on smiling and be happy. That’s all the thanks I’ll ever need.
And yeah you are way too precious so please take care of yourself
It is hard to deal with parents cuz they think it is better to let them choose us for us instead of us trying to pick cuz they don’t want us to fail or get hurt cuz of our choices. But what they don’t understand is we are our controllers of our life and we would rather want to fail and keep trying rather than chained to their perspectives. It’s not good parenting at all no offense. You should seriously consider letting her and ur father about this and how it is affecting you. And if you think that doesn’t work, then you shud ask yourself is ur life worth this pain?
I can’t tell her, I don’t want her to get hurt or feel offended if i call her out, and i’m constantly afraid that if i stand up for myself they’ll think i’m a bad person. I know i’m not doing anything wrong, my mom at my age used to do all sort of crazy things my grandma told me about, she’ll never listen to her parents and constantly disrespected them yet they always supported her and fought for her to be successful while I’ve done nothing wrong, i’ve never disobeyed her, Ive always been a good person who did everything her parents wanted her to, i can’t even think about the worst thing i’ve ever done, my grandparents even recognize it and have told my mom she should be grateful to have a daughter like me, i even got into her dream college to study what she did yet i’m always made to feel selfish and i really don’t want them to think that. I love my parents, family is the most important thing to me and that’s why i’ve always done what they told me to cuz i can’t handle losing them and i crave validation and words of affirmation all of the time. I know it’s not good for me but i can’t help it. Anyway thank you much for your advice and your words it means a lot that you took the time to answer 💕 I am working on myself so one day i can hopefully confront them about it but surely not today 😅
Just understand that your future kids will suffer if you keep getting exposed to this kinda forcing. Trust me it wil affect you a lot more. U r such a nice person but understand even goodness has a limit
I know and you’re right. i’ll try my best to work on myself until it gets easier for me to speak up and do what’s right for me. Again, thank you so much for your comprehension <3
