I need your thoughts.
I sometimes get so depressed that I isolate myself in my room for 2 or 3 days without talking to anyone. 
I know it's bad but I don't know how to stop this, and it doesn't matter now.
The thing is when I get out of my room for the first time and go talk to my mom she be so MAD at me.
She doesn't say anything to me during this whole thing but she will be so angry at me and I really don't understand it.. and that devastate me because I feel like I have just recovered from a mental down and she doesn't care about it at all. It makes me want to isolate myself again. I love her I don't want to make her mad but sometimes I just need some isolation because I feel like nobody gets me and she doesn't appreciate it when I do.. 
Maybe I'm just childish.. idk please tell me what you think 

Its okay..My parents dont understand my such phases either. About isolation, maybe try spending time under sun in fresh air , if you have a terrace or a nearby garden, that does makes difference. 

Family

I am feeling so irritated.......... 
I just want to screammmm... 

Period

**I hate my mother.**

I know it's a temporary feeling, it's just for now. But I do. She is making me so damn sad. Always. 
It's like the limits have crossed now, no respect left there for me in her. That may not be the case for her, but that is what I feel. I am so done. 
And this bloody lockdown.

Parenting

It's been rough. I had been staying with my mother lately and it was never healthy. Am I a bad daughter if I'm mad at her? If I hold grudges on her? If I hate her more than I ever remember? Is it bad if I defy her? If I don't talk to her? If I almost wanna roll my eyes whenever I look at her? If I don't follow her? If I don't listen to her? If I talk back to her? If I ignore her? It's always "don't be like that she's your mother after all" and not, "don't be like that to your daughter for what you've done to her". It sucks to see her everyday. To see her face in the morning. To hear her voice the first minute. She'd never asked why I'm being like this to her and she'll never do it. Because she only thinks about herself. 

Frustration

why does she hate me so much. she is my mom she is supposed to love. why can't she. 

I’m supposed to be crying to my mother about my boyfriend but instead I have to cry to my boyfriend about my mother

3am Thoughts

My Mom Constantly compares me to everyone. She is that This neighbour child got job in this company Other one next door has Got Job in Pune.. I am Jobless right now and she always does this and makes me feel more miserable i am done.

Life

My mom is so toxic that sometimes I wonder how does she sleep at night doing what she does to people. How do such people justify themselves to their God? Such a manipulator. So bad to her own children and family yet the  nicest to others. 
People always say good things about her and I assume she speaks bad about us outside. 
She talks to my ex who abused me physically. And an event is coming up where he might be present. If she talks to that guy I swear I will cut all ties with her. 
I had a boyfriend who had proposed to me. We wanted to get married but she created such a big scene and I had to say no to him cause she said things like "If his parents come to our house I'll insult them and say horrible things to them." I'm 27 now and single. When people ask why I'm not married yet she brags that our daughter wants to marry someone of our choice. What a load of horse-shit! She walks like she is the perfect person on the earth after causing so much damage to our family. It's not like we all don't know how to shout back or abuse or say worse things to her. We chose not to. My dad always says "Only love can change her so be nice to her." 
All the trauma she has put me through I haven't received a single apology from her yet I behave normally with her pretending that nothing happened. But I despise her fake personality. 
She talks to boys (she wanted son who would drive her around, take her shopping). Let's out every secret of our family to these dumbfucks she talks to. I don't trust her. I don't know when I'll lose control and leave my house. She blames my father for the troubled relationship she has with her kids but in reality we grew up and understood how horrible of a human she is. Dad has nothing to do with it. 
I can't comprehend how a mother can be like this to her children. How can someone be so selfish... Hear this... She wanted me to marry a rich guy so she can lead a comfortable life... 
Idk man. Why is she like this... What do I do...
I can't imagine what my dad must have been through. What would you guys do?

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed everyone is saying this to me cause I just don't wanna talk to anyone i'm irritated ∆€ today everything is irritating me today and that is not my freaking faultttttt😬🙄😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

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