

 I need some time to think about myself and what am I doing with my career. I have this sudden thought that when everyone is moving with their lives, I'm doing nothing. Lately, Avoidance has been part of my life. Idk what is going on? 

I'm suffering from same problems then I thought 
Ye dhuk kahe khatam nhi hota be 😆

X heena Lover

fed up 

I feel the same, i got this huge stress on me because i haven’t decided what I would like to study or which career to take, and everyone else seems so sure about that, it’s really frightening to feel like to be left behind.

Stress

My body feels really uncomfortable. Like my chest is being suffocated

LGBTQ

Feel exhausted, need a vacation ✨

Travel

I don’t know what to eat today

Healthy Food

I feel like venting. Anyone up for listening?

3am Thoughts

I feel like, will the people whom I consider as my dear and loved ones will cry if I die today or tomorrow? Will they miss me? Will they talk about me to their other friends and family and partners in future? 

I know I am a person who has fear of abandonment for which I have trust issues and insecurities. I know why I have this, this is because of a traumatic event that happened when I was born. 


I have this friend, a very dear friend of mine. I don't love him in a romantic manner, but more in a platonic manner. He's a safe space for me. He has always been a safe space. I know him since the last 2 years, but feels like I know him since years because everything with him is easy, he makes things easy for me to express. But we do have rough times, arguments where he doesn't talk to me or cuts off for a few days. This time, we had an argument...  Almost 15 days ago, and I asked him to draw some fucking boundaries and do not ever talk to me. Asked him to maintain some distance. Now, we meet after a year (because pandemic)... And both of us were very excited to meet each other. And it was so awkward when we meet, because none of us hugged. None of us has properly talked to each other. 

I honestly don't know what to do. I feel so helpless and I feel like I'm lossing him. This one time he was talking about his crush, and I insisted him confessing his feelings to the girl while we were on a call, he texted me "I really like you very much" and I saw his message after 20-30 minutes. When I asked him, he was like " I said it just like that" and all. My friends say, he's definitely into me. I don't know to be very honest. All I know is, he's my safe space when I'm drunk or when I'm sober. And I can't lose a friend like him. I don't know how to approach him, how to talk to him. And I have this feeling, that he will leave me.

He often compares himself with other male friends of mine and say "so now he's sweet to you and not I, huh". 
He's sweet. He gives up his window seat for me. Never allows me to rest my head against a window, he always makes sure I pass out in our cab rides on his shoulders. During a film festival, this one time I was dog tired, and sleepy. My head was hanging in air while I was sleeping, he took my head and rested it on his shoulders and when I woke up, I was literally in his arms, in a half hug position. His head was on my head,and the half hug. It's so sweet of him. And this happened for like 3-4 times. He's so sweet and adorable that to lose him is a loss.

My mind is a solid mess and hence the thoughts here are in a messy way as well. I tried my best to write in a structured manner but I couldn't. 




Anxiety

Comprehension is more important than communication.
#talktosolve
#psychiatristinsights

Emotional Abuse

Sometimes I feel so upset that I am rejecting some genuine proposals because of that person who doesn't give a shit about my existence. And will come to me after I breakup with him. Am I a pet of his or something that mann tha rakh liya. I can see his love when he needs something from me then kbhi nhi... 

Don't curse others one day everything is gonna come back to you. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts