I need some serious advice on what to do. I’m an intern at this broadcasting company and on the first day one of the coworkers I met looked extremely familiar and he even said the same thing to me but we never really focused on how we know each other. Any way time passed and o started developing feelings for him and so I started investigating on how we k ow each other. I showed my mum a pic of him and she told me that he’s grandma and my grandma were friends or something like that . And I didn’t tell him that I found out our connection. So a couple weeks past and I waited for him to figure it out and he didn’t so I was planning on telling him sometime this week. But today he came in and asked me if i knew one of he’s friends and I told him that yes the guy is my cousin and them he proceeds to ask .e if I k ew they were friends and I said yes and was waiting on him to figure everything out.
So here’s the thing my cousin likes to drink and he’s not a quite drank and he’s done a few things that to be honest makes me feel ashamed of being related to him.
Anyway he then proceeds to to tell me how he figured it out. Then he also ask me oif I Kew one of his other friend this one a female who was dating my cousin and I tell him no . Then he proceeds to tell me that my cousin hit the girl and that he’s crazy when he’s drunk. I didn’t know that my cousin ever layed a hard on one of his girlfriends before and I was honestly shocked but I didn’t let it show. But I did tell him that I did not know. I haven’t known him very long but I do know that he is a genuine and honest guy and that the term ‘friend’ between them is applied loosely atleast I assume.
He then tells me that one of my cousin’s friend is the one dating his sister. He’s mentioned his sister dating someone that he doesn’t like before but I didn’t know the relation it had to me.
I’m a very grounded person I don’t party i don’t drink I don’t smoke and I always make sure to be kind to people,
I’ve seen how drugs and alcohol has I fluency some of my friends and family members so I’ve sworn off any alcohol and substances. I’ve also worked hard to build a good reputation with the people I’ve met.
But now I feel like because of my relation to my cousin the way he sees me has changed and I don’t feel like it’s a good thing and now I feel like he no longer feels safe to talk about he’s personal life with our coworkers around me.
I feel so ashamed and embarrassed I think I’m going to apologise to him tomorrow on behalf of my cousin .
I wanted to get this of my chest cause i don’t really have anyone to talk to about this.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
So here the thing
Ah I understand. I just dont think you need to apologize for someone else’s bad behaviour since you didnt really have anything to do with it. He isnt even your sibling. I am sure you must feel guilty and borderline disappointed but the actual apology should come from the perpetrator to the one who has suffered… isnt it? Please dont take the burden of someone else’s bad deeds. You seen genuine, you dont deserve it