I need an opinion on of what I did was wrong or right
So there’s this guy we started talking and I got to know that he had liked me since like 2-3 years. I also start developing some feelings for him and we get into a relationship. I am someone who is very private and reserved and take a lot of time opening up. I don’t usually trust people. We get into a relationship as I thought I was ready for one. It was going fine but I being who I am didn’t really like to talk on calls and all basically did not get that involved and he was someone who liked getting involved. I liked living my own life a little and like not making him the only important part of my life. I enjoy my alone time a little too much I guess. I felt guilty as I wasn’t able to give him what he liked. The part of getting involved and I don’t even reply that fast. I then realised that being in a relationship comes with a lot of expectations and commitments and just having feelings is not enough so I told him this and asked him what he wanted and we decided on being friends knowing we have feelings but no commitments. Now I feel he is trying to distance himself and I don’t really wanna lose him
So was what I did right?
And what can I do now?
Seems like you developed feelings cuz he liked you, it shouldn’t be that way right? leave him be… Don’t get into relationships if you are not ready to commit.
No I didn’t develop feelings because he liked me that’s for sure.
I didn’t want us to lose touch neither did he at least that’s what he said
You are not ready to commit and he wants commitment. If he has feelings for you I am sure being near u as ur frnd must hurt him a lot. You did right thing but you should give him time and space too.
Being frnds when one have feelings for other or like ur case when u both have feelings doesn’t really work.
When I asked him what does he want he said “I want you if not girlfriend then bestfriends and if not bestfriends then just friends”
People say that coz it’s really hard to just loose the person you love all of sudden. But sometimes that gets really difficult I guess. But then again u should talk to him again
I am exactly like you in terms of talking on calls, happy with being alone sometimes.
Listen, The thing that you did wrong was giving up without thinking rationally.
1.) He likes to talk on call but you can’t guarantee it, you take time.
So the thing could be done was assigning section of you day to him by coming to an agreement that we will talk at fixed time of the day. By that way both of you would have had their expectations fulfilled and you both would have learned how to communicate when our perception differs .
2.) You decided to part ways, you did what you wanted so by the same means he is also entitled to move away and do what he thinks is good for him.
3.) Complexity in relationship is common but only few survives because they know what is needed to be done.
But giving up should not be an option.
We did decide to talk on a fixed time everyday that was at night and that’s what we used to do. But yeah I guess just that isn’t enough in a relationship. He said that he feels like he has a girlfriend only at night to which I said we can’t really talk all the time right which is fair I guess but again he likes getting too involved and I don’t so that’s where we had different opinions.
Well, in this case, i don’t think none of you are wrong.
His expectations and your expectations are opposite ends of a magnet.
You both were not compatible so it is fine.
But if you think that he will stay with you by being just friends then I think you should give up on him as he won’t appreciate that.
i dont think any of you are wrong
you did good telling him what you wanted and he doesnt want that and neither does he want his heart broken probably that’s why he has gone a bit distant.
Ujjwal @ujjwals
You should leave him. If you don’t have time and efforts for him, let someone else take care of him.
Genereally boys efforts are taken for granted, maybe they are not as expressive as they should be or at times gets needy one women guy generally wants to have ‘the one’ to feel comfortable to actually share themself and lovess to hear out.
Had I been you I would have followed my guts, either way.
