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@ariadneoliver

I need advice. I have no one to really talk to about my feelings and thoughts, so I thought I’d give an online space a try. I was prompted to post today by my guilt and anxiety levels due to calling in sick to my new job (one month in) three days in a row, when I could have gone to work. I didn’t feel great but would have made it. All I did was stay home and sleep and read books. I do this all the time, I can’t stop calling in fake sick to my jobs! And it’s not because I want to go to the beach or I’m hungover or anything. It seems like pure laziness but I’m not a particularly lazy person. I have over 10 years experience in my field and I am good at my job. My current job is a good one, with people I like to be around. Yet I still call in “sick” . Then the guilt and anxiety I feel borders on obsessive thoughts and I chastise myself and write notes to myself and cry and beat my fists in frustration. I swear to myself I’ll never do it again because it makes me feel so miserable and then in a few weeks time I’ll do it again. That has been my pattern for almost three years now and sometimes the excuses I make are insane like I’ll tell them I was in a car accident. I did this shit when I was young young and first started working but I’m in my early 30’s now. And I cant seem to stop myself. PLEASE of anyone has felt a similar way and conquered it, help me 🤥 I’m such a liar

2 replies
@theunacknowledged

Hi, im kind of having the same problem as you are, only difference is that ive been making useless excuses to my friends whenever they want to hang out, and then i stay at home, blame myself for my own loneliness and cry and sleep. now our problems are completely different, but here are some suggestions from my side:
-make goals and acheive them: set a target, start slow and reward yourself when you acheive it. for eg suppose you went to work for an entire week without excuses, reward yourself with something you like. maybe a meal from you fav restaurant, or a spa day or order something online(like books because you mentioned you like to read) This way, you will look forward to completing your goal because of the end reward.
-after you begin acheiving goals regularly, increase the goals and make them tougher. you got it in you!
-do this continously for a month because remember it takes only 21 days to build a habit ! you can do it !
-make a daily timetable(NOT A TO DO LIST THEY ARE THE WORST) and try to estimate the time you’ll take for each activity. make it very nicely and elaborate with small things such as even brushing your teeth.
-do atleast 30 mins of exercise daily. this will keep your dopamine(the good-feeling chemical) levels high so you will stay motivated and you will actually feel like doing the tasks
-keep time slots everyday for doing something you love(dancing,drawing,reading) but remeber not to get too carried away with it
-lastly, stay hydrated. VERY IMPORTANT.
Do let me know if these help you:)
(sorry for all the typos)

@ariadneoliver

Thank you so much for responding, a very helpful response. You gave me some ideas I hadn’t thought of. I really like the idea of small rewards to encourage myself. I hope you are making progress too, you seem very intelligent and kind.

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