I miss pre primary school where all I had to worry about was when will I eat or when will I sleep. Spent all day filling colours in my favourite sketch book. 

Education

Koi connect karega 😞😔

3am Thoughts

Anyone up for talk

Friends

I wish to tell one girl that I like her. Shes so amazing.

But yesterday she posted a video status where she recorded her sister getting rejected to a drunk confession text and panicking. It's kind of a funny video. i don't know if only her close friends can see it or everyone.

Now I'm worried that if i confess that I like her, she will share it with all her friends and make fun of me. Even though I expect rejection i don't wish to be insulted. I don't want to regret not telling her. Give me suggestions please.

Crush

i feel bad right now, everyone says to just stay positive and follow your passions but i literally do not care. nothing matters to me, i have no passions or dreams. i like doing some things but they really only bring mild amusement for a little while. working towards a career or activity that I don't care about is just exhausting, and trying to power through anyway makes me feel even more exhausted and spiral into depression. i don't want to stay like this forever but it's hard to get out when nothing matters to me.

Mental Health

Now&Me deleting our thoughts and comments and notifying in bulks XD.
Seems like somebody has been on vacation. LMAO!!!

#Long post
I loved her more than anything keeping myself in the 2nd place and so did she the same. We're in a beautiful relationship for 5 years until she opened up about our relationship to her parents where they're not OK with me and my family's financial status. We both were struggling a lot since a year to digest the situations happening around us. She really loves me a lot and was fighting with her parents about our marriage. I was hit by depression and anxiety after that incident. I still remember crying for days thinking of her and yet tried my best to do my daily chores and to find a job. We're talking after that incident and she would say "let's try our best to make it happen" and when the situations get tough at her home she would say "it's not going to happen I tried my best I can't go against my parents" and also tells me how much suffering she is going through between me and her parents. I couldn't able to see her in that position and we stop talking to each other knowing what's going to happen. Days or months later she starts talking to me saying that she doesn't want to marry someone and we talk on some possibilities and again when tough situations come at home she tells me again it's out of her hands she can't do anything. This  happened many a times and each time this happens, everytime when she says goodbye my heart aches to the hell and it takes me months to process myself to the incident and to come to a steady state. This unsteady and confused state of conversations with her neither moved me front nor back. I was stuck at the same point for the past 1 year having no idea what I'm doing and what I need to do. 

When this happened last time she said her marriage got fixed and I didn't talk to her after that. Two weeks later she called me and said that she called off her marriage, but also said she doesn't love me anymore. She now thinks that I don't love her. As I didn't contacted her or showed up to her after each incident she thinks I moved on happily and gave up on her. She started talking so negatively and harshly about me and my love. She even said that her biggest mistake in her life is loving me and she feels like crap for loving a guy like me as I didn't do anything for her during the struggling period. I never imagined of such words coming from a person that I loved the most. Her words broke my heart. I know those words came out of pain and anger but not truly. I tried to talk to her and explain her the things despite of the pain I had from her words. She was not ready to listen to me and she's hurting me even more with her words whenever I'm trying to talk to her. I even told her that the words are hurting me, and told how her negative talks about me and my love are affecting me. She took it in a wrong way that I'm telling her all this bcoz to hurt her in return as a revenge and bcoz I'm afraid of losing her. I completely broke into tears after hearing such words whom I thought was love of my life. I know she was in pain and I know It was my mistake that I didn't contacted her but not for the reason what she thinks. I tried talking to her leaving my self-respect aside even after being treated like a shit. I don't want to talk to her anymore as I'm afraid that I'll get hurt again. I can't take her words. But I still love her. I don't know how to get out of this horrible situation. My thoughts are killing me. I'm losing myself 😔

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