I miss my ex a lot cant move on at all its been four months but it seems with time everything is getting even worse.i just can't live without him.

It takes more than that to move on and the process is excruciating. Stay strong coz youre not alone in this. 

keep yourself busy, don't let that thought in your mind. 

Relationships

Alone but happy😁

3am Thoughts

I am dying from inside..giving myself support every min giving myself hope but still nothing working... i just need someone saying everything is gonna be fine and a pat on my shoulder.. some empathy... i have thoughts like something happens to me and i end up in hospital so that my physical pain is more than emotional pain 😭😭 i cant even go to my mom .. if i go to her and lay on her lap i will def cry and things will go worse... crying in a dark room is better i guess 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca6dPcHgdFY

Music

I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed because in my history class my teacher doesn't answer my questions about the work we do during class and she answers other classmates' questions but not mine. The zoom chat is private, you might be wondering how I know if she ignoring me or not, well every time she gets a chat she says " oh there is a question in the chat". Then she reads it but never answers. Before I had this teacher other students were saying she is racist, I'm not sure if she is but I am Mexican so it would make sense if the teacher was. 
This is not my first time being ignored in classes by teachers, this also happened in 5th grade by Mrs.Murphy and Mr.Syeven when I was called a Bitch by my classmate and Mrs.Murphy didn't do shit about it...and I was humiliated by Mr.Steven which I can't say because it's hard to write about.
I was also ignored in 7th grade by Mr.Price, I failed his class because every time I had to ask something and raised my hand he would purposely avoid that side of the classroom I was in, and if he looked he didn't call on me. When I'd go up to him and ask him directly he would say sit back and wait or he would ignore me in front of the class and talk to the other students, I was struggling a lot in that class.
I really want to cry and scream right now out of stress and frustration but I can't, I really hate teachers because I don't feel safe or accepted, I feel like I don't fit in. My mom told me to record my history class and ask a question even if I know the answer and to do it for a couple of days and if she keeps ignoring me which I'm fucking tired of my mom will talk to the office. 
I really wanted to get this off my chest but I still feel stressed.

Exhausted

i don't know ye shi h yaa nhi..but main yaha apni emotion share kr rhi.. its feel like ki main apne frnd,family ko bolungi wo samjhege nhi..
why universe meri baate log samhjte kyu nhi😐 I'm a neet aspirant aur meri 2nd drop thi bhut dream dekha tha sb tutt gya 
mere dost sbka ho gya medical,jee.mujhe aisa lgta main looser hu kuch nhi kr skti..iss phase main jitne close frnd the sb chle gye aur mere pass kuch nhi h.i'm really frustrating,kisi se baat krne ka mnn nhi krta,pta nhi kya ho rha 🤐
aur mujhe kuch option dikh bhi nhi rha 
mere neet me bs 350+ plus aaye h..kya mujhe ek aur chance dena chahiye mujhe doubt ho rha khud pr ab..smhj nhi aa rha kya karu ab. anyone plz suggest something 🦋🙇‍♀️

Career

I just want to go somewhere.. where nobody knows my name 🌺

My mom shouted on me really badly. Whole family drama she said really bad things to me because of my sister. But i dont know why and now everyhting is super awkward. My family doesnt even try to under stand me a litttle bit
I will be crying in my room and everyone will come and pass by like everything is normal not even a question not even anything just pure silence.
Nobody in my family will care why is she crying
Like literally 
Today was a sunday, i slept late last night by 4 am as due to my anxiety and overthinking i couldnt sleep. Its 7 am and my mom comes 
Storming into my room to wake up my sister both start to get ready for a pooja the had to go and not coksidering the fact that i am still sleeping. I couldnt get up and decided to get more sleep even when i had orders to complete today.
I took some sleep barely with all the noise outside my room and decided to finally get up by 9 am scrolled my phone for an hour and mymom and sister came back when i was getting some clotjes out of my cupboard to go and take a bath, my sister acc to the pooja had to bathe again. She could have politely told me that let me please go first but no she didnt say a word. In my head i didnt know, i stepped into to washroom and she came running behind me to stop me as she wanted to go first. I got really angry at her. And asked mom what is this ?
Now at this point idk why my mom lost it and started shouting at me like crazy!
She said isko sone se fursat nai milti, yeh apne aap ko jyada samjhti hai , tujhe mae batati hu, etna guman haina toh yaha matt dikha, ladkiya kitne aage bad chuki hai, tu ghar mae baithi hui hai aur kis baat ka etna guman hai?
And idk what not
She kept going and
Going 
And going
It just hurts alll her words litrallyy hurt so bad
My di started asking for some clothes 
At this point i was reallly angery i said come out of the washroom and take it yourself
Now she shouteed even moree loudly so that mom could hear it  till the kitchen 
Mom was coming towards me. I was so angry that i took her clothes and smashed it in front of her in the bathroom.
Nownthats it
My mom 
Lost it
And started sayingg realllyy bad things to me
I felt
Like sooo damnn low
I felt like harming myself 
Or
Idk 
Because no oke understands me
No one listens
No one cares
No onee is there for me
I feel so weird
So damn weird
Because all my frineds are healthy family
Now i am in my room 
And my sister and mom are enjoying cracking jokes and playing with out dog like nothing ever happened 

Family

If you are really honest and true to yourself, whatever you think becomes true. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts