I MISS MY EX :(

Breakup

Have u ever waited for someones text for a week and now u just wanna see how long it takes him to text just to ask how r u ?? 

Love

Why let him in my thoughts hurt? I have had a crush on this guy for the past 9 months....He had a pretty bad breakup and he isn't looking for any relationship....But on the other hand I fell from him so hard, he is just the way I always thought of one for me...I can't let him go of my mind...And he is pretty much close to his best friend, who is in love with him....I barely talk to him....I tried various things to move on...but he is my classmate, every time I see him I just fall for him....His charm is something that gets me on cloud nine....but things are hurting me now...I should stop my feelings for him...I have to stop my obsession for him....He did mock me 1 or 2 in front of everyone....but again I am gonna cherish him my whole life....He was the one who taught me what the butterflies in the stomach mean, to believe in love....Ya letting him go is one of the worst and best decisions I can make for myself....I don't wanna be selfish and just think about myself...I just don't know what to do.....

Crush

There was a guy I was trying to date, we both were trying to understand each other. But I was getting mixed signals. I asked him once but he took it as a joke or didn't reply nicely. 
Then I met a guy today who was behind me for year. I asked him to date me. But he didn't say anything and wanted to kiss me casually. But I said no. He didn't reply anything.
The same day, first guy explained everything to me and said that we need to understand each other. I asked him if he is okay with me talking to other people, he said yes he is.
I texted second guy too about talking/seeing other people and said that I'm asking to be exclusive. He said why are you giving me so many explanation. But he still didn't reply anything. 

Did I do anything wrong although I coeared everything with both of them and sort my feelings rather than double dating. 



Relationships

I feel betrayed.
We knew each other since 2008. He was my ex's elder cousin.Wen my ex dumped me he came to my rescue.Everyone gave up on me except him. We used to have long talks n time just flew wen v were together.He became my most trusted friend over time ,just like my gardian angel.I had several bfs n flings n there wasnt anything that i kept from him. There were times wen v talked after 6months or a.year but are friendship just grew stronger n my trust in him deeper. Until in 2016 i first felt something more than friendship for him. We grew intimate in matter of time. I asked him for a relationship n he just said v shud not take that step as it might ruin r friendship.I thought he was right   so i agreed. I moved to other city for studies there i had few crushes n flings n i continued with my life until he shifted to the same city in 2018 . We started getting closer again, spending more time with each other. I thought maybe this is it ..this is our time to go forward into a relationship n i asked him again. But all he said was i love u n care for u but he was confused since my previous relationships never lasted longer. He said he wanted a marraige not a relationship n i was all ready for it but he never accepted me. Eventually i got to know about his maternal cousin ..who he introduced me saying she is his best friend  n they vl always be together. I was suprised to know about her since all these years sincen2008 i told him everything about me n i never heard a single word about this girl from him. I felt betrayed. Then over time i realised that he was lying to her about our relation since telling her the truth might hurt her. I tried confronting him several times but he wud always ignore my questions. Atlast wen i thot maybe i shud take  a step back he dint pay heed to it. After few days i had a one night stand with my colleague under the influence of weed. It just happened out of nowhere. N that colleague happened to be one my crush i discussed with my bf. 
I dint delete the chat with colleague n my bf ( i dont even know wether v were in any relationship since he never accepted it till then) happened to read it .Then the downfall began. He said i loved u n was about to propose you next month on his bday n now he felt betrayed. He had broken down. I was like all these years i wanted this relation n i screwed it wen i was so close to getting it. N guilt took me over. I felt sorry for myself n for his condition too. I was broken by his words but still i kept him above me. I did everything i cud to tell him that i never betrayed him. He was never ready to accpt me n whatever happened was a coincidence. I never meant it to happen. He was the last person on earth id ever thought about hurting n here i was seeing him drenched in tears. I was myself in no good mental condition but i had to hold him together so however depressed i was ,i was there for him, whenever whatever wherever he wanted me to be. Since april 2019 he abused me hit me abused my family n what not n what not. I gave him all the proofs he wanted . I shared all my passwords with him. I shared everything i had with him but he could never trust me again. But nontheless he never stopped having sex with me, be it phone sex ,video call sex or actual sex. Whenever i used to refuse to do it he used to abuse me. When i could take it no more n thought of breaking our relation he used to come crying n sobbing saying he is sorry n he doesnt have control wen he is angry n all that shit . N i used to give in thinking maybe its his mental health thats affected n me being a doctor shud understand this. I tried to support him in all ways possible. I went against my parents for him. One day he hit me infront of his cousin n wwasnt even sorry about it. Even she abused me asked me to get out of his house n he dint say a word. I decided i will never see him again..after a few days he did that same drama again..calling me several times saying whatever happens he will never leave me. When my parents came to know about us n my parents asked me to leave our home in a week. Instead of standind by my side he just left with that girl to another city n never came back. I visited him whenever i could get leave from my job.N i was blamed for that too that i cudnt stay with him wen he was depressed. I did everything i could to be with him hoping someday he might feel my love but he never did. Last week i talked to my parents n convinced them that i want stay in a live inn with him. When i informed him that m coming to stay with you he said dont come. He doesnt want to stay with me or meet me. N that their society is a covid containment zone n that he is afraid of Covid. Still i went there n to my suprise he was staying in a live inn with his cousin. They both started abusing me n my parents. I waited to talk with him n wen i finally could he was like whom did u ask before coming here. Go to ur colleague u slept with, whats ur relation with me. I said you had promised to marry me after a year or so. Iv been waiting for it. I went through all the hell you gave me just waiting that you will keep your promise. N he was like people change with time n i dont want to marry u now . Just go away from here. I cudnt take it..what i saw what i felt n what i heard there. Il said il leave tomorw morning n never return. He was ok with it. Then his cousin started abusing me n my upbringing out of nowhere. When i started retaliating i was hit with an iron pan on my head by her . When he came in between us she hit him too..n continued hitting us. N all he did was hold me down to the ground so that i cudnt hit her back. N all the things id shared with him my dark side since 2008 started coming out of her mouth as abuse...abuse to me my parents n my family..they video called my parents at 1am telling them that i was creating a nuisance. She was video recording me in my bad condition when i tried to get back at her but dint record when she was hitting me. N all this while he was there as a bystander. He did not say a word to her. I was shocked n felt betrayed to the core. My family got me back home that night itself. I dont know how to feel. I want to cry but i cant since m a doctor n expected to behave maturely. Since 2018 my life revolved just around that guy. I never had a plan B. I was so sure that it was real n that v would some day end up together i never thought of anything else. All i thought was how to keep him happy. I took up several things i never liked just coz he was interested n liked those things. I feel like someone has taken awayy lifes purpose. I Dont know what to live for. I feel so lost. I no confidence to go back to my work. I fear i might do something wrong that might cost my patient his life . I get anxious and start trembling when i get a call for an operation. Iv started becoming insomniac. I dont feel like getting out of the bed. My body aches but not more than my heart. I just cant take the pain anymore. But i have to behave maturely so all i do is stay awake n quite n see time pass by. 

Harassment

Should I break up with my boyfriend? We've completed 2 years this July and we both fight a lot 

I am insanely and very desperately in love with my boyfriend and the mere thought of loosing him or not getting to build my life with him is very scary but I've seen couples fall apart in long distance or with time and i just can't see us go through that but neither can i break up with him cuz I would literally die if that happens..I'm stuck..i know we will eventually break up but this feeling right now is to die for.. never knew you could feel so much and love one person this much..he's all that matters it's just the best feeling ever..

I m not feeling okay. I recently got dumped by my boyfriend from a 10 months relationship. I just don't feel good. I felt complete in myself when i was around him . He wants to be nrml frnds again. He gave me 1 month to get over from our relationship. I just don't know how this feeling ends. I can move on from this thing or not. I know i have to let him go and i accept that. But i miss the good time we had. Everything was good . Suddenly he told me that he can't handle relation anymore. When i begged him to not to go, he said he never shows that much love to me then why the hell i m crying. He always maintained a gap. He suddenly changes his whole warm behaviour into cold words. I had his hand in my hand and suddenly he is gone. I want to keep only good memories. I don't want to blame him for anything.  But most of the time i m stuck in my thoughts that why does this thing happen? Will i able to move on  or not? All of the things happened suddenly. I just don't know what to do? How should i manage this heartache? I want to be okay with this. And i want to let it go. Bt i m questioning and complaining all the time abt those things. 

So I have a friend he litterally stopped talking with me for 5 months saying that he will be preparing for his exams and told me he will be busy... So later on he used to msg me once in awhile and used to say "I'm not able to study I'm just using my phone all the time" so indirectly he told me that he is not preparing for his exams  yet he can't talk with me or reply to my msges... He said this thing couple of times not only once.... Obviously I was hurt and 5 months later on I said him how I felt he gave me a pretty logicless explanation that "I didn't wanted to use you as a escaping tool it felt wrong so I didn't msged and cut myself off" now please tell me do you think his explanation  making any sense?? And whenever I'm pointed out that your explanation is not making any sense he keep saying something like "why didn't you msg me in those 5 months" he told me that he will be busy he can't talk how he also expected at the same time I will talk with him??

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts