I m scared anxious guilty feels like I m responsible for these feeling as if I want them to sabotage me. The stiff body stuffed heart heavy insideā¦feels too unsafe in this world with my feeling oozing out my body ā¦let me breatheā¦whenever I lose trust in myselfā¦and criticize myself as if Iām pelting stones at my own soulā¦but itās not like it happens just once in a Blue Moonā¦ itās like daily I fight with thisā¦but every time I donāt know if itās my real inner voice or a voice which is useless and does more harm than goodā¦i donāt know how to separate them bothā¦so surrender and take it as mineā¦i think whenever something painful or triggering happens I leave my body and become lika a scared fetus inside my mindā¦my mind does everydamn thing to hurt or curse me even but I take it as my protector and do and feel as it saysā¦even if that means getting scared of my own selfā¦of my own possibilities because then I have to lose this safe place which is in reality not at all safeā¦but why if feels so because it feels good to follow something than leading.
Hey, I was in the same position rnā¦ The only thing that helped me was my religion. Ik, it might not be helpful for everyone, but read stories, these mythological stories have very deep meanings in then and it might help you get out of wherever you are stuck.
