I love him very much , i have been in a 1.5 of years of relationship, but i have these problem of shouting on him on very small small things : like i shouted when he didn’t talked to me for few days , i shouted when his female friend came to his house to surprise him . I shouted on when i walked miles when we were in mountains, i have shouted on him for multiple reasons and know i feel i have this pattern of behaviour and this what as a person i am becoming , also he is a poky person and i get triggered alot with , i dnt know what to do .
I have been doing so much that in February he felt like leaving me he said love me but he dont wanna be with me anymore and he went to a female friends place late at night , and obviously the girl kissed him and he did kissed her bck , later in the same morning he told me what happened and i was crushed , now i am always feeling jealous and insecure with him . It creeps me when he talking to someone .
Recently he was talking to a new girl and was trying to be just make a new friendship , the girl fell in love with her and the girl travels all the way to kota to meet him , they just have known for like 3 weeks . I got insecured and told him like i dnt wanna be with you cause you attract people unintentionally and i am not sure you will stay with me always , with me tht will have our futurw together . He told me thousand times he loves me but i was not able to trust him . We argued for 3-4 days continuously and finally i gave up because now it was like i am just shouting on him . He said he love me only but i was not able to belive him . I was so occupied with the presumption that he must have acted something out thats why the girls travel from so far to his house on his birthday and baked a cake for him . I wanted to go and see him too but he had the back injury and didn’t wanted to trouble him in any way
I really dnt know what to do
I read whole story and came to a conclusion that he is not good for you. If someone loves a person , he/she will definitely get mad if that person won’t talk for days, If you love someone you definitely don’t like someone else coming to see your partner at a bad time , and if a girl is traveling Kota , it means it was a plan. You are just a side wheel for this guy, rest it’s upto you either stay away ( mature step ) or remain to get used by being a side wheel ( which will make your pain more in upcoming time )
Girl… This is not right. Like to project your unhealthy traits on someone. Shouting on your bf for petty things? Thats not fair for the other person even if you have the love to die for him. If someone truely matters to you, love them, protect them, be good to them, dont take them for granted and try to leave your unhealthy habits for them. Now u can’t do anything… Maybe give him a chance and see what happens. But don’t treat him the way u treated him before if he really matters to you.
I am realising that i am having bad trait in me and i am trying my best to, i do come to realisation that i hurt him so badly even though i love him so much , i want to improve but at the same time i realise its because of my insecurities and i am not able to trust my future with him , i feel inse alot . I want to fix everything i swear . And i too myself dnt want to become such a unhealthy to anybody , i always believed i am good person, recently i came to this realization i am not truly i want to learn patience and understanding especially towards my patner however the situation is bad
I dont wanna shout on him or anybody i want to change this bad habit of mine i want to become a good person
Then give yourself this chance!! I believe you can do it. And then talk to him about how u want to change… I think he will support u in this.
He did said he will support me but he tell me repeatedly that other people tell that our relationship is toxic for him . I am so clouded on my judgements and feelings
Okay… Other ppl is saying that… So? He doesn’t wanna be with u?
He says he wanna be with me , but these days i dnt see efforts or he is approaching me to talk with me . I feel he is somewhere bored of me maybe
Okay then take a closure n end things on a good note. N move on. Its okay i know it’s hard…but eventually when u grow up to be a better person u will find a nice guy n will have a good relationship!! All the best n tc dear. 🫂🌻🙏