I lost my father in April this year. People expect me to be okay.. but I loved my appa a lot n I miss him.. i act like I have everything under control but in total honesty, I'm losing grip over my life.. it's so hard.. I feel lost n in pain all the damn time.. what should I do..?

Hey..I feel really sad after seeing this..but yeah I can't say u can move on from this pain easily. All I can tell you is to take little steps day by day to get used to the fact that appa is no more..and try making new habits that energise you..

I lost my mom in april and I show I am okay but I miss her a lot like a lot lot lot

Family

Today I feel sad... sad because I'm unhappy with how my life is turning out to be. I have a lot to work on and I don't know where to start. I just got out of a 6yr relationship and it's completely hard because I don't know where to begin with moving forward. I've gained so much weight and now its difficult for me to loose it. When I was loosing weight the boyfriend at the time was not supportive. He was say things that made me feel like what I was doing was wrong. I expressed to him that it made me feel better and it was helping my confidence. Sometimes I felt like because I was getting my confidence back he felt like he could not control me anymore. While in this relationship, I lost ALL my friends and now i'm single with no friends so I feel stuck. I wanna move on and meet new people and start new friendships but I cant do that cause I don't know anyone. I Sometimes feel like i'm the problem cause the people I do meet treat me like they like me and my company but never invite me anywhere. I sometimes feel like they use me when they need and i'm there because in my eyes we are friends. But in reality we aren't...I sometimes feel really lonely and I feel like I have to put up a fake smile so no one knows i'm sad or maybe I lie to myself to make myself feel better... 

Breakup

I need attention and love and hugs and a reql person to talk to maybe idk😭

Lonely

**Journal**
Today was productive yet boring. 
Got a lot of things done, yet am left with a few more.

Felt pangs of sadness as my bf lost his grandfather with whom he was very close with, and went away to do the last rites. 

Personal Growth

Right now, things are really rough. My father had to quit his job and I'm scared we'll lose all our money and everything. My sister was beat up by her boyfriend - who might be her ex now. The guy I'm talking to is now acting very distant and could possibly be talking to other girls...
When I got told all the bad news, my parents told me to stay positive and to just be happy. That puts a lot of stress on me. Because then it feels like I'm not obligated to cry. Like I have to hide my emotions just so everyone else can show theirs. I'm an optimistic person, I always have been. So much so that everyone expects it from me all the time. When I say I'm not feeling well emotionally, they laugh it off and think I'm just joking.
If I bottle up my emotions, I think something bad could happen. I thought I was being cured from the depression I was feeling, but that was a fucking lie. Just when everything seemed to be getting better, everything got worse and I'm stuck in the middle of it, helpless. 
When people tell me their problems, I feel like they're asking me to help them, when I can't even help myself. 
It's a habit and expectation for me to ask others if they're okay and tell them that I'm there for them to vent to, but I completely ignore my own problems and feelings.
I'm feeling hopeless and lost and so hurt. I ask for help and no one has answers. I really hate feeling like this, but I can't control it. And these feelings are scary. 

Depression

I think the person who still loves SRK movies ❣️ (the old ones, like k3G, kuch kuch hota hai, swadesh, mohabbatein, veer Zara, devdas 🥺) that person will never understand online vaala pyar, friendship ya any other type of relation... Because for that person relationship is like 🤔😌aamne saamne baith kar baatein karna, hasi mazak karna (just like we did in our college times).. in short - sabkuchh real, gussa bhi real, hasi bhi real, regret bhi real or friendship bhi real 🙂, I know online ke zamane me real milna mushkil hai, but theek hai na yaar, hope rakhte hai, jab bhagwan ne itna kuch diya hai, toh aage bhi sambhal lenge na yaar 😌❣️

Relationships

"We are all aware of the concept of meditation; it is all about understanding your inner world, your breath, your thoughts, your shadow self, and becoming your highest and truest self. 🫂

Become the happiest you can ever be!😁

Join us in the biggest mindfulness event via clicking the link: https://bit.ly/3s2cca4"

Meditation

I thought I'd do a really productive work but I didn't🤧

3am Thoughts

I think that if classism is based on an ideological foundation it is wildly incorrect. However, I do understand why most people have severe apprehensions about relationships, that are friendly or romantic in nature with people from different classes. It isn’t about social standing or wealth accumulated, it comes down to a whole different set of choices and decisions, not to mention the stories you’ve grown up with. Aladin and Jasmine can’t have a happily ever after because they come from very different socio economic backgrounds. That’s just a fact. Different access to different resources, create different human beings, with very different preferences and tastes.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts