I lost my dad to suicide when I was 13. Ever since i cant get it out of my head. No one understands me. I lost so many of my friends bc i lashed out on them. I’m so alone no one to talk to about this. I’m 14 now it gets better then some nights I stay up till 3 screaming into my pillow. All this guilt, pain, regects, fear, sadness, all added up so stressful. All the memories got so hazy. And I’ll think about the day I found in the funeral and it makes me think that I’m in them. Sometimes I forget hes gone and I want to ask him something and I cant. I just want someone to talk to. To understand me on this level. But no one cares enough.