Thought

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Anonymous

I live with my parents and i’m graduating high school in a year but my parents are still not giving me any privacy. I used to share a room with my two siblings since our house isn’t very big. I got my own room a few years ago but now my parents won’t let me close the door because they think I have a “secret”. I love my parents but in my opinion, I don’t think it’s right to share EVERYTHING with my parents. Even if I sit down and try to talk to them, they would just accuse me of hiding something and assume their thinking was right. They don’t even knock and just barge into my room, we even have a camera in the hallway pointed in the direction of my room so whenever the door is open, they can see what iIm doing. Simply closing the door won’t work (asian parents problems) and I don’t like to argue, I’m more of a person that just likes the quiet and be by myself.
I’m sorry if this was long.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @anuukkiiixostan
1 reply
Profile picture for Now&Me member @anuukkiiixostan
@anuukkiiixostan

Woa…
They even have a camera pointing to your room??? What the heck… If I were you, seriously I could not live under that roof. Everybody needs their own privacy. I do also have an Asian parents. But they don’t go that far. I just hate it when they do something behind my back in order to catch whatever I do. I remember when I was in high school, whenever my parents did something similar to what you’re dealing with now, I directly used to tell them that I hated it. I got mad at them. Like really mad. I would not really care if they are scary because what they did was just way too NOT RIGHT. I love my parents. I love them a lot. But you know everything has 2 sides. Good and bad.

However, there were times that no matter how much I told how I feel, they just says no. So do you know what I had to do? I just had to deal with it until I move out (i did not move out yet haha, I am in college). I needed to be patient. So damn patient until I become more responsible and grown up. There are times, a lot of times, your parents won’t be able to understand your feeling. In most cases, we are the ones who to blame for, and parents are the ones who are always always always right. Sure, they are right and we are wrong. BUT, BUT, BUT, I feel like they don’t talk with us. Seriously they don’t talk with us. They don’t try to understand our feelings. For me, when I tell how i feel, they always judge me. So I understood, parents are not really those people who we can talk and tell how we feel. But friends are the ones who will listen to you. And they will be on your side. They seriously will be there for you. As long as they are the REAL friends.

From my perspective, I am not sure what type of person your parents are. So that is difficult for me to really give an advice for you. If your parents are the ones who are affectionate and understands you, the greatest solution would be telling how you feel and speaking up that is unfair and not right. Its just not right because:
1. they have trust issues with their own child
Why? Did you do something to broke their trust towards you?
If not, it’s your parents who are being mostly unethical and incorrect.
2. the thing that makes them think you are hiding something, or keeping secret,
What is it that made them speculate you of having secret? Were you acting cold or acted so distant from your parents? The only reason why your parents might think you have secret is:
-because you don’t open up to them 100%
-because they caught you doing something secret
-it is mostly because you are acting distant… Are you?
I guess so, since you said you like being alone. Me too! You are not the only one. But living with parents, you just need to go out of your room and talk and have fun with your parents sometimes. My guess is that, you being in your room all the time alone, without talking with your parents really made them speculate you.
3.the camera? That is way too, too, too much.
Why? What did you do?
Or are they seriously over and overprotective parents?
For that camera, yeah you need a privacy. If you really want your privacy. You need to fight! By meaning fight, I don’t mean you should shout and argue. I mean that you need to speak up and tell how you are feeling. Come on you are almost graduating. You need to have your privacy. If I put myself in your shoes right now. I would start by go telling them that I want my privacy and wanting them to remove the camera or suggest that I will close my door whenever I want to. Okay it looks like they are not going to agree with that immediately. So
What I would do next is, I will look at the camera and wave goodbye while closing the door. HAHA I will do that. Why not? It’s just not right.
They will come opening the door without knocking for sure. Then express what you feel. Just pour it out. But be respectful and reasonable. Tell that you are graduating, and tell them how you want your privacy like other kids have. Ask them why they don’t believe you, and speculate you of having secrets, if you did not acted distant. If you really don’t have secrets tell that you don’t. Tell them why they might think you have secrets because of your feelings…etc. If you have secrets, wait… Don’t tell them during that time. Tell it some other time comfortably when they seem open to listen to you.
Well yeah…
If you still keep being quiet and not standing up for yourself, you are not going to have your own privacy. Try to stand up and tell how you disagree with it one by one. Slowly. It would be greater if they are willing to talk with you. If you think how they are acting is wrong, tell them. But from my experience, parents are grown ups, so they want you to be grown ups. But in reality you are not. You can not act like grown up, so they will not try to understand from your point of view. From their daughter’s or son’s view. Whatever they think is right on their own. Soon you will realise that whatever they said will make somewhat true when you are older. But they may be wrong sometimes. So yeah…
Goodluck.

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