I let go of a relationship today, a friendship very very close to me, a person whom I loved to death once. It was tough, to make that decision, to draft that message, to gather the courage to confront and to hit the send button. Immense anxiety and tension took over me in that moment, my body became warm, my heart was racing, and I took deep breaths. Separations are tough I know. But letting go is worse. It hurt. I cried. But it was all over in a moment or two.
Jhumpa Lahiri said, ‘Death had the power to awe. A human being could be alive for years and years, thinking and breathing and eating, full of a million worries and feelings and thoughts, taking up space in the world, and then, in an instant, become absent, invisible’.
This letting go felt like that. I feel terrible. But I know I had to do it, for myself, to prioritize myself, to choose my self-respect. I have tried my level best for this friendship to work. But it was getting toxic for me, and even though drawing the line was so so tough, I had to do it.
I now know how toxic relationships work, and why many people find it so difficult to come out of it. It was difficult for me too. I wish things were different.
This too shall pass. This should actually make you proud that you stood for yourself and took a decision which sooner or later will make you feel good. There’s life ahead…then there’s love ahead to. At the same time I agree that letting someone go is the worst feeling ever…but at the end of the day you are the only one who is responsible for your own happiness. People will come and go…and will only be with you till there motives are met…and once even once you do something not according to them they really don’t like and that’s where the issue begins. Last but not least i would reiterate that only you are responsible for your own happiness!
Cheers and good luck for your new beginnings. I hope you come out with flying colors. :)))))))